A strange love

A man falls in love, this is based on some true experiences.

                           

A Chauvinist in Love

 

     “God used to make beautiful girls till the year 1985, and after that He suddenly stopped. Probably the warehouse where the beautiful girls were made was burnt down by Satan, or God decided that the earth deserves no more angelic girls, as the world is filled with countless sins", said Dewey.

     Dewey was a man who never was among the staunch believers in love, but today according to him, he had seen the most beautiful woman. There was a slight glitch, though: the girl whom he saw was five years older than him. It made the whole scenario a bit too twisted. However, he was with his friend Hilario, who was a romantic by heart. Romance and chivalry flowed in his veins; any lady who had the opportunity to meet him would certainly get drowned in his charm. But it wasn’t as though Dewey never got his share of females; he, too, was good at his game. But he was more cold-blooded. He never meant what he said. He said “I love you” every other day, purely to entice women to go out with him. He was heartless...but he always got what he demanded.

     So, you must be wondering, "Why is Dewey facing such a dilemma?” He could easily have gotten this beautiful woman he was talking about and done his regular routine.

There was problem, problems

      Dewey had had his share of older women, and he had learned one thing from those past experiences: eventually, they all want to marry you, and when they decide they want to marry you, only the Almighty can save you from this catastrophe. Dewey learned it the hard way, so today he  was again  complaining to Hilario about his predicament with this particular woman, and Hilario, like the good friend he was, listened and tried to put some essential reasoning into Dewey’s head. Dewy was a commitment freak, he always stumbled on the benchmarks of a regular relationship, when a girl asked Dewy, “ Will you move out with me?”, Dewy replied “ I would love to , but my dog needs a lawn to stay or else he dirties the house a lot”, now Dewy expected that the girl did not have a lawn, if she had a lawn, then Dewy said “ My friend Hilario is suffering from a serious ailment, and I have to look after him”, this was Dewy’s trump card and it always was a success, whatsoever. Once Dewy was asked by a girl to get involved in holy matrimony, Dewy said to the girl, with a straight face “I would love to marry you, but I always wanted to gift a Villa to my father, once that is done, I will certainly marry you”. But today Dewy was a different man, rather it seemed like he was a different man.

     “God used to make beautiful girls till the year 1985, and after that god suddenly paused. After that only pretty girls have been born", said Dewey. Hilario was somewhat offended by this chauvinist remark, but Hilario had never seen his friend in such a pitiable state. Probably Dewey was maturing, experiencing a new venture toward adulthood.

     Hilario retorted, “You're nuts, man! The very thought is loony!" My fiancée was born in 1988, and she is beautiful”. Dewey shrugged his shoulders and said, "Whatever!" This statement angered Hilario; in fact, this whole attitude of Dewey's made him furious. He loved his fiancée, and he was not ready to take any criticism whatsoever about her.

      He brought his chair closer to Dewey’s and said, “You better change your point of view, bub, or I'm gonna find me a new best man!” Dewey raised his eyebrows in amazement, and said, “I never meant to hurt your feelings, Hil.  I am just saying that Laura is not as beautiful as the chick I saw, that’s all. Laura's hot and all, but this gal was like a lotus in a muddy pond.”

     Hilario knew that arguing with Dewy was going to be pointless. He practically never gained from arguing with Dewey, but Hilario was more than a little bit curious about this amazing girl his friend was fantasizing about. He asked, “Please would you enlighten me? Describe your proclaimed angel."

     “I have heard many fables about men who saved their lady loves, but I never believed in them until today. I have often told you that the girl I am going to marry will be so beautiful that her beauty will compel you to wear sun glasses. I had only dreamed about her, until yesterday I met her. Her voice was so amazing that even a deaf man could experience its melody. Her lips were so red that the roses will appear pale. Her eyes were more innocent than a baby’s, and her skin was so soft….”

     Hilario interrupted. “So you touched her?” Dewey said in a menacing tone “Next time you break the flow, with God as my witness, I'll kill you. Whether I touched her or not, you will never know."

     Dewey continued. “Her skin as soft as velvet, her face as radiant as the moon, her figure carved out by the gods themselves”. There was a numb silence. Dewey then poured some rum into his glass and went into a pensive state for a long time. Hilario didn’t seem to mind.

     After a time, Hilario broke the silence and said, “It seems that you have fallen in love.” Dewey said, “Whatever that feeling was, if it was love, then I am addicted to it.” Hilario smiled at his words.

     After a short pause, Dewey said, "I was wondering about the idea I presented to you some time ago, about how God had stopped making beautiful girls after the year 1985."

    ”Yes, what about it?” said Hilario.

    ”I have come up with a queer list, but it’s just an insight”, Dewey said. Continuing shamelessly, he then said, “After 1985 up until 1989 God made tall girls with wider hips and small breasts.  After 1989 till 1992, God increased the size of the breast, probably because of the complaints from his worshippers. Then, to compensate for the breast size, God decreased the size of the brain, no one complained after that.”

     Hilario laughed and told Dewey, "You are the limit”.

Author's Note

Please keep an open mind and a broader perspective when you read the story. The story comes from a real life incident of mine, where I had met a girl, who nearly matched the description as above.lol

Reviews

[Crowley]

I love the thought that God stopped making beautiful women after 1985, agree or not is a great hook to hang a story of chauvinism on, although I am not sure that chauvinism is the correct word for it. I love the characters and the story line, although I would like to see it fleshed out a bit and add more of the actions and surroundings of the characters to warm the piece into a full picture. The touches like the rum and the chairs are good and add flavor to the scene, and the scene is good and worthy of a slower pace and would make a fantastic construction project. I love the line about Best Man status being in jeopardy if his answers aren't meaningful and true....I really liked the feel of this, great job.

[E.H. Monroe]

great opener. Don't tell us he's heartless, my balls cringe when I'm told something in a book. The actions are where the heart is. Leads on like a joke which had me continuing. This would fit in a longer piece with some expanded s**t around it.
Hilario's name is a nice play on words.
and the end...well the end is just f*****g true.
love me some truth. ho ho.

[futurepast.]

This write shows the change from the old Dewy to the new Dewy. We can sense that he has matured over time, or because of that particular woman. The story is beautiful and I really wish it was longer. You are amazing with descriptions, and I loved how you inserted funny lines in between serious ones, thus breaking the atmosphere. The whole of it flashed into my mind like a movie, and it was awesome. You drew your characters in such a way that I totally understood them. And I think Hilario is right to some point when he says you have fallen in love... your description of the woman says it all ... A clever piece.

[Brian W. Hastings]

A very believable scene. I'm not surprised to find out afterward that it was based on an actual experience of yours. Keep using that trick. It is definitely a talent you excel at.

[Lovely Lady]

Great write! Keep writing.
~lovely

[Invisible Ink]

It's a good and interesting beginning for a story... it has some strong parts and weaker parts, Crowley pointed out some of those, so I think with some revisions it could turn into a very nice piece... the conflict isn't really strong... at least in our culture, 5 years is nothing, or it Dewey just conflicted because he doesn't believe in love? It's a little confusing. Short stories are really difficult to write, I've never written a successful one myself. They need to be very powerful, clear & concise. I don't think the moral is "men will be men", it that what you are trying to communicate? I think you need to know first what you are really trying to get across. As I said, there are some good things here.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I chuckled down the page with every line having learned years back that we are slaves to our biology and cerebral wiring despite how advanced we like to think ourselves~ men will always be men and women will always b***h about them~ lol!~~ you're right I enjoyed this thoroughly~

[Liza]

lol - it is always ironic to me when Men and God are put in the same sentence while putting down women....the reality is; women need to be beautiful so the man can turn out somewhat good looking or be turned on by that woman...anyways - women will never win when men have so many visual needs and every man has a mother...will they dare call their own mother - ugly?