is there love?

This basically questions about the existence of love

This is a question which comes to my mind every time I hear an incident involving an awkward love, a mindless ending to a love story or hear teenagers belting out dubious promises to each other. These all seem delusional. They bring us all back to the main question: whether or not love does, in fact, exist?      I myself have never been a lover, meaning I have never fallen head-over-heels in love. As far as that goes, I have never even loved an object to that extent where losing it would kill me. You may call me heartless or a sadist if you wish, but to tell you the truth I feel that I am better off this way, as it saves me a great deal of time, money and, most vital of all, sleep. Many of you will find this selfish, but to me it seems smart.       Many would say that I have not found the right person, or that I have not searched long enough for my better half from among my friends. Some might even go so far as to say that God has kept my chosen one secluded away from me, elsewhere in this vast world. To me, this seems mindless, as I firmly believe that love DOES exist.      When I hit the bed at night, I can sleep peacefully only because there is love present in this world. I believe that what passes for Love may often have been misinterpreted, due at least in part to the inference of the media, and marketing generally. The media give the illusion that the lust which naturally occurs between attractive men and women is the same thing as Love. This mistaken notion has seeped into everybody’s heads to one degree or another. Women have been so filled with these ideas that they only speak about love, love, love and more love. Love is like a drug for them. And each and every one wants their boyfriends to be like the Edward, the chalk-white hero of the Twilight saga, or Jacob, his lupine counterfoil. A great many young girls have continually been fantasizing about a fallacious image of what a man are, men as projected by the media. Then, they try to attain men who are more human, more realistic versions of their 'ideal' man. Thus, we actual men are compelled to exist within their wholly fantastic conception of what a man ought to be. This makes the whole point of Love look flawed, as real Love must be based in truthfulness and honesty.       I would like to define Love as those feelings in which the participants do not expect anything in return, but will try to please each other in every possible way, as well as to protect one another from any harm or danger. Never would either expect anything in return. This seems a good starting point when trying to establish a definition for Love, and attempting to determine whether such a wondrous thing can yet exist in today's world.

 

Author's Note

this involves mainly how media is corrupting love.............

Reviews

[Crowley]

I like the thought you have put into this subject which you seem pretty passionate about. The writing was good and the thought line was good, there are a few grammar errors, but I don't really review that kind of thing cuz it usually pisses people off. I would personally say that love is alive and well, with the zillions of words that are written about here every day including yours, I think as you have talked about in the piece its the way that people deal with the feeling and the attachment of love that may be the real question. The lusty part of it being born out of instant attraction is kind of like a plumed birds mating dance, when it gets real is when we can get past all that as lovers and appreciate the good and bad things about being "with" someone that loves turns into something else. It may be the cultural stigma of being a failure if it doesn't last forever that may be a problem. Great thought provoking start here...I loved it.

[Camille Corbett]

I think this is a nice train of thought. The wording is a tad off a bit profuse at times. But overall a nice message.

[So Sick of Love]

i like it very good

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

"Love may often have been misinterpreted, due at least in part to the inference of the media, and marketing generally"

and that is exactly what has happened~along with over thinking, over disecting, and over analyzing one of the most undefinable qualities inherent within each and every human being~
bravo on this essay~ 100!

[*skittlez*]

this is a very good story

[futurepast.]

You are neither heartless nor sadist, but you are very wise. In fact, everybody should have that mindset that we should not love 'head-over-heels' as you say. Because when we give too much in love, we always tend to expect the same in return, and when we do not get what we expect, we fall into the darkness and begin to curse our fate. And when we go too far in love with a person, it becomes a possession, and possessing things is an ugly thing. I believe that we should love something or someone to an extent that the person should be free to stay or leave, without us interfering in his or her opinion.
And I also find it ridiculous when people say things like 'you will find someone who God chose for you' or 'everybody is made for someone' .. This is pure nonsense. When I was younger I fell in love many times with a lot of people and now that I've changed into a more open minded person, I realise that I never loved in my life. Now that I'm alone, the solitude kills sometimes, but it is better to be like this, to be honest.
I love myself but that does not make me a selfish person. I love everybody the same way and I will never try to love only one person, and be heartless, cold and mean to the whole world. I believe love should be something universal.
And the 'ideal' person as you say, is far beyond attractiveness. The ideal love is when a person has an ideal heart ... and this is rare to find.
I'm so glad that I found someone who share the same point of view on Love as me.
This is a wonderful piece of thought to ponder on.
Nice job.

[Brian W. Hastings]

This comes off as a very honest piece of work. I wouldn't call it a confessional or even a pouring out of the soul. It is more of a "this is who I am, what I believe, take it or leave it," sort of a thing. It's hard for me to put the impact it has on the reader into words. Hopefully I got close.
By the way, you've done a great job on this.

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

I truly like the honest confessional style of writing you employ.
As one who knows love, I can clearly relate to this , I took the same view for many years and found love after 40.
I think this comes off as a journal entry so far.
But all in all a talented straight forward write.

[Rashi]

When I set out to read your words, it seemed like one of those broken hearts' tales, cribbing about the non-existence of something they'd have probably lost in time. But as I moved along the first few lines, you came across as a non-believer, one who just doesn't want to know what (s)he doesn't know.

But your work is more meaningful than the first impression you create. You probably have expressed these thoughts of yours to your friends, and they would have flooded you with arguments like you "have not found the right person, or...have not searched long enough". You seem to have thought through them all, and then built your understanding. Most importantly, your work says that you haven't just commented on love on the fly, but have actually spent some honest thoughts! The opinion about media and movies affecting our thinking is something I personally agree with, though these illusions are not self-sustaining. While we all do get attracted by a better appearance, many who have truly loved would agree with me on the thought that attraction can arise out of appearance, but a relationship doesn't stand on those notions. The bonding is not what movies teach us, one learns it with experience. I have no right to call your thoughts right or wrong, they're honest! But I do believe in Kahlil Gibran when he says: You laugh but not all your laughter, you cry but not all your tears... (when you live without love). True love exists, and we feel it in small moments of life, as you also said "I can sleep peacefully only because there is love present in this world". Misinterpretation of love is common, but that shouldn't make its existence dubious :)

Lastly, I appreciate your thought of what I refer to as unconditional love...it's love minus myth: love in a universal sense of the word. I see it as how friends/family love each other: trusting, admiring, respecting and protecting one-another, without wanting to "own" them

I don't know if I'm qualified to "rate" your work, but I'm just assigning a number. Don't go by it, that's not how I "judge", because honestly, I am not judging you on the basis of one prose...it's a well expressed thought, and that's the best thing! I'm just a miser with numbers ;)

[the in between]

can one make love exist if they just believe it and do what's expected of love? True love may be selfless actions and thats what makes us feel better because we are doing something to benefit someone we care for and it causes most of us to get involved with not just ourselves but with people. But perhaps most of us expect something in return. It would be better to stop that but we can gradually with first ourselves. I agree with you on everything, it made me think :)

[Dinesh Sairam]

I know a whole lot people out there saying "True love" exists. Isn't it a bit oxmoronic? 'Love' already comes with 'Truth'. Anything that is not true is not love. It's been constantly proved by several poets. As for this, I'd say, as I have already said in many ocassions "Love is no fairy tale and love does NOT have a philosophy". But as a 'definition' of love, this is good (And that one too, often discussed by thinkers).

Read this when you have time : http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/pshelley/bl-pshel-onlove.htm

It's a prose on Love by PB Shelley. After all, who can define love better than the greatest romantic poet of all time? :)

PS. Welcome to Writer's Cafe. Keep writing.