You are the weakest link, goodbye.

I recently posted a Facebook status regarding an observation I made while patiently waiting for a media event to begin. It read the following:  “Watching a girl and guy chatting, the young boy blissfully unaware of the rock solid friend zone he has been placed into. Bless.” Considering the reactions I got from said post, I thought it appropriate to share the following:

SIGNS THAT YOU’VE BEEN FRIEND-ZONED

They constantly tell you how comfortable they feel around you. This isn’t a sign that you’re meant to be together, but rather confirmation that they view you in the same way they would a homosexual friend.

They are overly affectionate with you behind closed doors but assure their friends that nothing is going on between the two of you when questioned about it. This isn’t them being ashamed of liking you; this is just them, not liking you.

They are more than happy to cuddle and spend time with you every now and then but when it comes down to choosing between snuggles, and a night out with mates, best you know that it’s going to be one lonely night on the couch for you.

They tell you all about their latest crush and ask for your advice as to what they should do. They are not trying to make you jealous; they’re literally asking your advice on what they should do to improve their love life. You know, the one that doesn’t include you.

They complain that no one loves them and list all of the reasons as to why they are going to die alone. They are not fishing for compliments; you’re just the closest shoulder to cry on.

They complement you at every chance they get, whether it’s how good looking you are, or how wildly unique your personality is. This is not because they have feelings for you, it’s them knowing they can be totally honest with you because they have no intention of ever being with you.

They take every opportunity to bring up the fact that they’re not ready for a relationship, knowing full well that that’s all you really want from them, but they will never refer to you directly because then who else are they going to spend all the live long day talking to?

They have adorably lovable nicknames for you that are tremendously well thought out. This does not make you unique; they probably just can’t keep track of all the people in their lives that they’re friend-zoning, so nicknames seem like the most logical option.

And of course there’s the ever obvious (but apparently not to most of us) scenario when you try to make a move and they pull away, blatantly laughing in your face. No they’re not feeling awkward or shy, they just couldn’t think of anything worse than locking lips with you, and the fact that you thought you even had a chance, makes them laugh.

If the above sounds all too familiar to you, or someone you know, I think we can all agree that it’s time to REIN IT IN. You’ll thank me later.