Hi, I’m Roxanne, and I am single.

Now a days being single automatically places you in the same category at those struck with leprosy back in the days when Jesus was alive. It’s now become a very common thing for people (strangers) to ask you (especially ballies) when they see you without a ring on your finger, whether or not you have a boyfriend. And don’t dare say no. As if the idea of you not having one means that you must be a raging lesbian, or that you’re doomed to a life of celibacy with your thirty cats.

Every girls excuse for being single is that times have changed to when our folks got married and had children. No amount of time, or technological progressions, will get you closer to walking down the aisle so let’s just clear that up right now. It all depends on whether or not you’re looking to put yourself out there and accept that you’re not going to find Prince Charming, like, ever, but you’re sure to find someone close enough.

My mom has always told me that there is a lid to every pot. What she didn’t reveal was where my freaking lid is, depending on whether or not I’m the pot, it’s all very confusing. I think it’s just something she says to make me and her feel better, so she doesn’t rock herself to sleep every night worrying that I may die alone.

I’ve never worried about not finding ‘the one’, I’m far more worried about which ‘one’ I will choose.

There’s a little song called Someone New by Hozier that says:
“I fall in love just a little, oh a little bit every day with someone new…”

Literally the story of my life. I fall in love all the time, but not really. I do know that I fling the L-word around far more than one probably should but I like to think that’s just me being passionate.

Now before you think my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, it doesn’t. I don’t have an array of men to choose from on a daily basis. I just find the good, and the potential in every one I meet, and this broadens my horizons a little more I guess? Point being, no one is going to fall into your lap and put a ring on it, you’ve got to go out and find it.

What doesn’t help though is when people ask you why you’re still single. I’m often tempted to answer them by saying “Oh I just thought I’d spend the rest of my life alone, without pro-creating, because you know, ain’t nobody got time for true love or a family.”

Look, there’s no beating around the bush, us singletons have it hard. What I can say is that taking your time to find ‘the one’ or in my case ‘the seventh’ is going to take a bit of time. There’s no point in running down the aisle if you aren’t ready, whether you’re close to 30 or not, because that doesn’t end well for anybody. Make use of your time alone to discover exactly what you want. Learn from past relationships. Make mistakes with new ones. Heck, buy a freaking cat. You’re only doomed for a lonely life if you pave the way for one.