chapter 3

the one that comes after 2

In a land far away a large group of elves where amassing in the small town of “Left to the center of right” for their annual attack of “Right to the center of left”. this is a festive occasion when the people of “Left to the center of right” would attempt to obliterate the people across the river in the town of  “Right to the center of left”. the exuberant display of violence is usually preceded by a game the locals like to call “sock her”. this game involves a complex series of maneuvers where you steal a left sock of the nearest male and place it on the right foot of the worst dressed female. This of course is all done with only their toes.

 

(Note: the kingdom of “a land far away” is located two exits from Upper Terra)

 

A “left to the center of right” resident by the name of Jamie Outlaw was fed up with the game of “sock her”, the whole region where she lived, and wanted to see the rest of what the world had to offer. But the penalty for not playing “sock her” and leaving the kingdom of a land far away was ironically to play “sock her” till one died of exhaustion.

 On the other side of the river a “Right to the center of left” resident by the name of Jackie Lawful was also fed up with the game of “sock her” and wished to visit other places, but her town had similar rules in regards to leaving. Both of these fine upstanding citizens decided to flee their respective towns at roughly the same time heading in the same direction, as there was only one way out of the valley that the towns are located.

 

Now lately people have said that I, the narrator have jumped from one storyline to another without completing any of them, that being said…

 

In another part of the forest a large grouping of rats assaulted a poor group of hero’s, these hero’s being not only just out of the academy but also all city born, were having an awful time fighting off the rats. Now coincidence in the form of George, our friend the Nagumwasuck was whistling a happy tune not five feet from our naive young hero’s. now not many know this but rats are a Nagumwasuck’s favorite snack the only problem it that Nagumwasuck’s are also rats favorite snack. This is usually solved by one group catching another group sleeping, but since both the Nagumwasuck and the rats are both awake it boils down to which one can convince the other to give up living first. Now one would naturally assume that the rats have some sort of advantage because there are so many of then compared to George but they all have immensely tiny brains and can only think in large groups. Not to mention rats have a problem figuring out who among them should be the spokes rat. George being a rather bright lad figured he could out think the rats, though he had his doubts as he had a terrible lisp and it’s common knowledge that it is very hard to convince rats of anything when you have a lisp. This is because the worst king the rats ever elected spoke with a horrible lisp and as such, using standard rat logic, figured anyone with a lisp must be a terrible person to listen to. Fortunately for George, an old friend of his happened by. The world renowned Juglandaceae-cruncher, who, due to a rather unfortunate and unforeseeable accident, had gain the title “nutcracker”, but that is a tale for another time. In addition to his embarrassing nickname the nutcracker was also famous for out witting rats. But oddly enough was also quite the folk hero to rats because of an oddly coincidental event where in he defeated a rat king, who had a lisp, in order to save a damsel, or some such unimportant nonsense.