Daffodils Are Forever

Though all things someday

will be gone,

some flowers are forever.

 

When something's lost

forever more

Daisies seem to drop.

 

When there's a scream

or a call of pain

Pansies seem to run away.

 

But in the long run

I am sure,

Daffodils last longer.

 

So finally when

our love is dead

you can pick a flower.

 

But I will find a daffodil

since my love is

forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

it's not quite done, i kind of want to fix the middle or add a stanza.

Reviews

[Ashley.M.E]

it's pretty good, although You like to start a new "Sentence" with and/but. I think it would sound just as good without
(Like so)
Though all things someday
will be gone,
some flowers are forever.

When something's lost
forever more
Daisies seem to drop.

When there's a scream
or a call of pain
Pansies seem to run away.

In the long run
I am sure,
Daffodils last longer.

So finally when
our love is dead
you can pick a flower.

I will find a daffodil
since my love is
forever.

[Desert Dreamer]

I like the images of the flowers in your poem. I would like to read more about other flowers since I enjoyed reading of daisies dropping and pansies running away. I agree with Ashley that this poem would sound just as good without the "and" and "but"s. After reading, I am left wondering why daffodils last longer, like some kind of mystery, I like this wondering at the end. Nice poem.

[Dutch Jr.]

Nice write, and it looks like you took my friend Ashley's advice on the clean-up. good job.