birthday

 

i

 

w

as

 

born today,

 

all the smiles sipping soda,

and

cake so

fluff

E

 

the way she hugs me, makes the

one

blowout the

 

candles

sway the swerve

feel every

 

she steps on my toe, in the shuffle step

 

 

while

as a child,

no one

was there on my ten b-day

 

even girlfriend a macho and

stong kickyourass

"wanna go out?",

 

the mere kiss the taste is lips the breath heats steam

 

her skin so

 

the desert,

 

never imagined so cheesecake pillow,

rubbing the roof

on

m

y

mouth

 

 

 

i

was born

 

to

day,

 

 

and the couch,

 

sings me asleep

 

the deep

underwater

release,

her breath sips

from

me.

 

Reviews

[rachel D]

i'm not going to leave a comment on every single write you have up here but i could. i'm really diggin your style and your topic here is pulling at my heartstrings. love the way you break the sentences and phrases up. it's artistically pleasing.

[Shemena Campbell]

"all the smiles sipping soda,"

immediately made me think of...

..."Big S, little s, what begins with S?
Sammy sipping soda pop, S s S"... (Dr. Seus, ABC's)

Which is fantastic, in that it brings that raucousness of a childs birthday right to the fore.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong, (or more likely, reading too much into it), but it seems like the birthday boy here is making a progression from his mother to his lover, with the 10th bday deliniating the two. It's a cool poem.