untitled (runs down)

 

s

 u

r p

 u p

   n  l

d  s  e

  o

  w

    n

    ,

cascades the ri pp le soak,

waves.

etched vine weather worn

stairs of

window box flowers,

wild tea roses so sweet

they explode like fireworks

across,    red and

tattered patterned

tapestries

worn

well,

the 80’s concert t-shirt

soft, and holy

as

your eyes

blue

and

 

home

to

me

 

hold soul enticing the

meld rapture

                            engulf,

 

you’re supple, runs heated chocolate down

 

Reviews

[Emilia]

Your poems are the only ones that I will actually review anymore, simply because I enjoy your poems so much. I certainly think that Writer's Cafe has lost it's way a bit as it is slowly creeping towards a social sort of website and has lost a bit of its uniqueness. I hardly ever log in anymore but when I do, I'm bombarded with all of these group invites, story invites, and spammer comments and all the rest of that annoying s**t. I hate to criticize the website, especially when I used to adore this website, but I don't honestly feel that many of the writers on here have what it takes to really succeed professionally. But that may be the point--writer's cafe is the place where they can write for entertainment and possibly progress. That being said, however, I think that your writing exceeds the realm of Writer's Cafe and should ultimately be published in respectable outlets.

The style you embody in this and many of your other pieces reminds me of E.E. Cummings. The influence, imagined or otherwise, is so very apparent. While I adore E.E. Cummings greatly, I would also suggest that you seek something that is even outside that abstract mind of Mr. Cummings himself so that you can create a style that is totally, 100% inherently yours. Yes, you should draw from others, but when you read a good poem, don't try to emulate that style. Think, "Wow, that was an amazing poem so much so that it makes me want to write my OWN amazing poem in my OWN style." One style is no better than another (for the most part). Most any style can achieve that greatness. Find out how you can mold your style to achieve the greatness of other poets.

Still, I think your work is quite commendable and I will probably continue to read the poems you invite me to read as long as you do so.

Peace.
Emilia