ravishing smoke

 

 

 

it’s
Saturday
night

night
night

light
a nd the height of
sipping swallow
drink is
loosening my tie/
lips so dry the heat
high,
stoned and trying to
for
get
why
i missed my
son’s christening
the road mans blues
is
thank you Tom
Waits,
being
re
mind
ed
from a megaphone mic’ ed
grind
ing throat.
that jesus
is chocolate,
melting forgiveness,
in
to
my
my
dye
soul.

Thanks again,
Tom

 

Reviews

[Greyson Davison]

I like this poem alot, although not my favorite, it is still very good

[Emilia]

I love the feel of this poem and I think you execute it quite well. You have the opportunity of going outside the poem with the "why I missed my son's christening" and you do. It gives a different element to the speaker and the theme of the poem. I think that some of the line breaks are not necessarily and involuntarily take the reader out for a moment. Beautifully ugly language with a dirty core that flies. Dig?

Peace.
Emilia

[William J. Wilkins]

I love the stifling, falling, trapped sensation I get as I read this. The wording is stuttering, uncertain and strangely clear. Nicely done!

[Ilene M.W. Lush]

love it. you're stylish in the Ross way once again. I like the telling of your tales. always.

[Hedra Helix]

I dig yer breaks son:)

lil piece of heaven:
"light
a nd the height of
sipping swallow
drink is
loosening my tie/"

hey im trying this new thing so let me know.
Do you want sereous criticism of the pieces to make them strongest or are ya mostly sharing?
do tell...

No mas stars unless you inspire me to just haaaave to give you sum. do it! :)