Chapter 1- Dreams

“Avark, don’t you think it’s about time we leave this town? We’ve been here too long, and I don’t want people to get suspicious.” Flynn said, beginning to pack his bag in the dusty motel room.

            “You’re so paranoid, but you’re right. We’ll leave in the morning, though I was really starting to like it here.” Avark replied.

            “Fine.” Flynn threw his pack on the ground with a sigh. “I’m going out for a bit of fresh air.”

 He walked out of the motel room and began to roam the streets that were beginning to come alive with the city’s nightlife. He strode down an empty ally where he found a rickety ladder leading up to the roof of an abandoned building.

 He climbed up and rested on the wooden rooftop thinking and watching under the gloaming sky. He sat there until the sun had fully descended beyond the horizon and the moon had begun to its assent up the heavens. He decided it was time to head back; the city wasn’t particularly safe at night.

As he was moving to climb down the ladder he felt a presence come over him, and in his head he heard. It’s coming Flynn. Be ready.

 The vision he had as a child came rushing back to him like a raging river, nearly taking his breath away. His heart pounded so fast he was convinced it would beat right out of his chest. He shakily made his way down the ladder and began to sprint through the city.

He received odd looks and more than a few insults as he pushed his way through the crowded night market, but he hardly heard it all past the blood thrumming in his ears. He made it back to the motel and leaned against the wall panting.

“Why in such a hurry?” A girl in a shimmery dress approached him from across the alley. Her face was covered in glitter and her skin glistened with a fine sheen of sweat as if she had been dancing at a nightclub for hours even though the sun had only just set. Her breath was a little unsteady like she too had been running.

“Did you follow me?” Flynn asked, still trying to catch his breath.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” She said, taking a step forward.

Flynn blinked; he stepped backward until he hit he the brick wall behind him. “Why?”

“I’ve been watching you and Avark, when I saw you running I followed”

“How do you know Avark?”

“I know you too Flynn.” She was right in front of him now; she reached her hand towards his face. He flinched away. “Stop hiding.” She said and brushed his hair out of his face, touching the scales around his eye.

Flynn froze. “Wh-who are you?”

“Don’t be afraid. We’ll be with you.” She said and disappeared into the alley.

After Flynn recovered from the shock he looked after her, but she was gone. He made his way back into the motel room, and slumped against the door.

“What gives? You look you’ve seen a ghost.” Avark said.

“Yeah something like that.” Flynn mumbled and began to strip off his disguise.

He flapped his wings a few times, stretching them. They always did get cramped hiding under his jacket all day. Then he collapsed into bed hoping to sleep off the bizarre events of the night.

 Unfortunately that’s not where the nightmare ended for Flynn. Strange and twisted dreams haunted him as he slept. Fears came to life under the dark scrutiny of his subconscious mind. Along with the memory of his vision returned the doubts that had plagued him as a child. The doubts that a monster like him couldn’t stop the coming doom; he was a creature made for fear and destruction, not for bringing peace.

He awoke groggy and in a foul mood to Avark throwing a pillow at him.

“Get up. We’re leaving.” Avark said.

Flynn moaned, but dragged his weary self out of bed. He threw on his disguise and stormed out of the motel to get the horses while Avark checked out.

Flynn tacked the two horses and began to lead them to the outskirts of the city; Avark caught up to him on his way. Unfortunately they didn’t manage to sneak out unseen. A few of Avark’s gambling buddies saw them.

“Leaving are ya’ Ginger?” One of the men swaggered over to Avark, very clearly trying to hide some insecurities with his swanky attire, not that Flynn could speak. He was hiding his own insecurities, in an albeit different manner. One with a little less flare.

“Yeah, it’s about time for us to head out. Been around this place for to long.” Avark said.

“Tired a ‘losing your coin eh?” The swanky man smirked.

“Nah, just thought I’d save some for the rest of y’all.” Avark joked.

The man shook his head. “You nomads, always on the move.”

“Comes with the job.” Avark shrugged.

A slight breeze began to pick up, threating to blow Flynn’s hair out of his face and reveal his scaly eye. He scowled.

“Avark, let’s go.” He said grumpily holding his hair down.

“Alright, don’t get your knickers twisted.”Avark said. “Sorry fellas, we gotta be headin’ out now.”

“Ah, go make trouble elsewhere then.” Swanky grasped Avark’s arm, gaudy rings flashing in the sunlight. “May we play together again one day.”

Avark nodded, “Keep those bluffs of yours to a minimum and maybe you can win next time.” He swung himself into the saddle and trotted after Flynn who had gone on ahead.

“Strange kid, that friend of his.” The man muttered after they had gone a ways, but Flynn still heard.

“I’m not a kid.” Flynn mumbled to himself.

“Don’t let ‘em get to ya.” Avark said and patted Flynn’s shoulder.

Flynn shrugged him off.  After the city had to fallen a ways behind them Flynn unzipped his hoodie and tied it around his waist.

“We’re not far out enough yet. Someone will see you.” Avark said.

“Nah, it’ll be fine. I’m gonna scout ahead.” Flynn said and crouched on top of his saddle. He urged his horse into a canter.  After picking up some speed Flynn vaulted off the horse’s back and took to the sky.

“Freak!” Avark called after him.

“I heard that!” Flynn called back.

“You were meant to!”

Flynn flapped hard to gain altitude. The sky was cloudless, but the smog that surrounded the city still permeated the air for miles out. Flynn tried not to choke on it. He headed towards a rocky plateau protruding from the ground. This close to the mountains, the bare bones of the earth broke through, jutting up as colossal spires of stone that reached to the heavens.

Flynn landed on the plateau and quickly righted himself from a rough landing; he had never quite mastered landing. He squinted to look ahead through the smog and saw, ever faintly, a black line tainting the horizon.

He wondered at it for a bit, but then it came to him and he fell to his knees. This was what he had been warned about. This was what was coming. Flynn began to shake as panic overtook him. What was he to do?

Flynn sprinted to the edge of the plateau and threw himself over; he snapped his wings open to catch the air. He angled downward towards Avark. He flew down from behind and snagged Avark from off his horse. He flapped furiously to get them both in the air.

“Woah. Warn me before you do that!” Avark squealed like a girl, kicking wildly as the ground dropped beneath them.

“Stop squirming or I’ll drop you.” Flynn complained.

“Where are you taking me?” Avark asked.

“Just wait.” Flynn said.

Flynn flew back up to the plateau and they landed on the rock face in a tangle. He quickly jumped up and peered out at the horizon; the black line was still there.

Avark was still grumbling about the ordeal and stood up dusting the rocky grit from his clothes. “What did you bring me up here for?”

“Look.” Flynn pointed towards the horizon.

“What?” Avark squinted. “I don’t see any… what is that?”

“The coming doom.” Flynn whispered.

“The what?”

Flynn sat down. “Back when we were little I had a vision. An angel warned me about a coming doom.” His shuddered. “I had forgotten about it, but last night the angel came back. It told me to be ready.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know… I was afraid. I still am, what am I supposed to do about it?”

“Well, how do you even know that this is it? It could just be a storm off in the distance.”Avark suggested.

Flynn looked again. It was faint and barely there, as just a smear on the edge of the earth, but Flynn knew that this is what the angel meant. He saw it in his dreams. 

Author's Note

Any advice for improvements would be great!

Reviews

[Leon C]

You have a nice style and your use of words is excellent.

My main piece of advice would be to take your time and add a little description of people and places. The opening scene is an interesting start but by the time Flynn leaves the room I want to know what they look like and what the room is like.
Again describe the city as it comes to life. The reader needs to know where this is set. I had no clear image of the world.

You have a really good skeleton of a story but you need to add a bit of flesh to it.

[rosieposie]

Thank you so much! I knew it was missing something, but I just couldn't seem to put my finger on what exactly. This helps a lot!