Awesome work Roshan! You've got magic in your words. I specially liked the manner in which you've organised it..Leading 4 lines that's got a humble pleading followed by next 4 lines that vocalizes a sarcasm filled beseech "Lie to me.." and the pattern keeps alternating. And finally the amazing landing. Nice read:)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot deepika :) you always have a way to get the essence out of my poems, Im very grateful f.. read moreThanks a lot deepika :) you always have a way to get the essence out of my poems, Im very grateful for that honestly :) cheers. I'm glad you liked it
Like your poem, this poem is too image forming one.
Your lies will last me this one more night,
The lights don’t grow dimmer till I hear your sweet song,
I surrender my soul to your glances, to keep safe in longing,
The dawn has never been a friend, cruel and blinding.
i love this stanza a lot. and that line
The dawn has never been a friend, cruel and blinding.
pours into my soul. it is amazing :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot for the kind words irenic. I appreciate your review and am glad you liked it :)
Lie to me, that your kisses will wake me up,
Lie to me, that you’ll see me to the door as I leave,
Lie to me that you’ll call me if its all going alright,
Lie to me, that you want me come back early today.
Well there is lot's of intensity in your write dear friend. Fabulous write. I can relate it well.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot saddam, glad you liked it and could relate, I appreciate it :) cheers!
Roshan, as always, this one is another thought provoking write. You have described the most diffciult phase of love - the part where you will have to let go of her.The part where you just want to believe - even if it is only for a fleeting moment that everything is fine.
A really good write.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot TLM. Im glad you liked it and could empathize with the emotion, I much appreciate your .. read moreThanks a lot TLM. Im glad you liked it and could empathize with the emotion, I much appreciate your kind words :) cheers
The change in intensity between every stanza is incredible. Truth be told, lies will let us survive a bit more. Amazing, Roshan! Windows can be very healing in some sort. I am trying to put down something but all I can say is I like it enough to re-read it.
I’ll lie to you this once...she did really think your eyes had everything she needed
True!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot sindhu, Im so glad the piece was something that moved you, I appreciate your kind revie.. read moreThanks a lot sindhu, Im so glad the piece was something that moved you, I appreciate your kind review :) cheers
This was fantastic! I'm officially a big fan of your work! This poem was so heartbreaking, it reminded me of some old memories. I hope you recover. Thank you for sharing :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks cool girl :) Im glad you liked it and you're too kind with your appreciation of my work. Reco.. read moreThanks cool girl :) Im glad you liked it and you're too kind with your appreciation of my work. Recovery is a cruel road but im about as good as I could have hoped being at this point. thanks again for the review :)
9 Years Ago
You're very welcome! You're work is amazing :)
I'm glad to hear that your recovery is going w.. read moreYou're very welcome! You're work is amazing :)
I'm glad to hear that your recovery is going well..
You have my best wishes!
Ohhh... this was a great read. A feverish, perplexing war between your pleading and keeping the pride. A heartbreaking one.. I hope you recovered somehow from this..
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks for connecting so deeply with the poem, Im glad you liked it. I am in the process of recoveri.. read moreThanks for connecting so deeply with the poem, Im glad you liked it. I am in the process of recovering to be honest... and its getting better as time passes. thanks for the kind concern.
2nd stanza: "that you long my eyes as I long your lips," add "for" after each time you say "long"
3rd stanza: "till" is an abbreviated word, so add a comma before it, like so: 'till
5th stanza: "were our to perch" change "our" to "ours"
I, personally, don't particularly care for the repeat of "Lie to me" but if it's the creative style you're going for, then, well, it's your poem. Nicely done though.
I do understand this poem.
"Truth be told, you had the best you could get,
Truth be told, you didn’t lose the love you never had,
Truth be told, your soul is lonelier tonight but let the glass get light,
I’ll lie to you this once...she did really think your eyes had everything she needed,
Goodnight"
Sometime lies mean little when we need another person near. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you john for the kind appreication, and yes lies do mean a little when the need is such. Im gl.. read moreThank you john for the kind appreication, and yes lies do mean a little when the need is such. Im glad you liked it, cheers!
Roshan, this is a beautiful, heartfelt, and well written poem! I really like this poem! :)
Your poem speaks to many of us who have lost love. I liked it when you said, "Truth be told, you didn’t lose the love you never had." It is easier for us to think that the person never loved us, because it is difficult to understand why love would ever leave. I like this poem so much that I would really like to read another poem about what happened next :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Hey madison :) thanks for that heart warming review. I appreciate it...I am still in the process of .. read moreHey madison :) thanks for that heart warming review. I appreciate it...I am still in the process of undergoing the experience that will become the next poem..Hopefully the tone changes. Till then maybe one about the wait, for the next chapter to begin, sounds like a good enough theme to write on :)
Hey, I am Roshan, I am a poet, writer, musician and artist. I love poetry and it has gotten the best of my creative side off late.
I sincerely hope you folks enjoy checking my content out and let m.. more..