The poem talks of a man who has served his many years within the walls of a prison, now left free into society, expected to wander and live in a world where no one is aware of his presence even.
It's a strange sense to smell,
the scent of a million yesterdays in this cell.
Curse my crime and release me for what I am,
This place is no longer for me to dwell.
Silent breaths be demanded,
On this path for those denied,
Cremate what’s left of being captivated,
For now I am done paying the price and I shall not abide.
He walks out standing tall,
Life is no longer what happens in the next cell
wall.
Colours of his weakened eyes reflecting the open
skies,
As the door shuts behind him begins a different
kind of crawl.
Into the world anew,
Roaming these streets without a clue
There is a question what would you do,
If they served life in a platter, would you still
see it through?
A house, A Home, A chant, A prayer,
I stop to think which to reach for, each one is so rare
Who knows what deserves to be first, should I even care?
Fantastic writing again my friend, I really understand this feeling of once caged
and then not all to well, around my neck of the woods, we have a saying"you don't
have to live that way anymore" when someone is reliving there time served. Anyways,
great job, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot James, I appreciate you connecting with the emotion in the write. I thought of writing .. read moreThanks a lot James, I appreciate you connecting with the emotion in the write. I thought of writing this after a few interviews I saw of rehabilitating inmates, it really moved me to see their condition, the young and the old. Thank you for the review my friend
Again i peeped into your page .I say i really find long poetry tedious.But its like a ballad may be.But the emotions which fleet across this poem is amazing.He walks out taking a new resolve to cremate his yesterdays.But he is still in dilemma how to start it.Its the case with most of the prisoners.The part which touched me the most was the description of his eyes and deep metaphor.A good write indeed .
~Sophy
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot sophy , Im glad you could connect so well with my write... I really appreciate you stop.. read moreThanks a lot sophy , Im glad you could connect so well with my write... I really appreciate you stopping by :) cheers
My first review, I'm so excited XD lol. Let me start by saying that I enjoyed this piece very much :) Marvelous work on the rhyming and I felt that not only was he leaving the physical cage, but I feel he was trying to leave it mentally too. The last few lines gave me the impression that he is still trying to leave the cage mentally, but still hopes to move forward in the world he's been released in. Loved it lots and I hope to read more soon:)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Lol well your excitment is infectious! :D Im keen on checking out your work now. Im glad you liked t.. read moreLol well your excitment is infectious! :D Im keen on checking out your work now. Im glad you liked the piece, thanks a lot for the review.. and yes your inferences are all true. Im glad you could get the pulse of the piece :) cheers
Sorry, I think I that miss quite alot (omg my computer QAQ). I like your format and your rhyming sys.. read moreSorry, I think I that miss quite alot (omg my computer QAQ). I like your format and your rhyming system! Everyone must believe in their destiny, and no one can escape from it. Just feel the destiny, and never regret that you are wrong. Every second, every minute is so important to your life.
That's brilliant! It reminds of a story or an article I read a long ago,about a man who got out if prison after few decades. He couldn't connect or recognize anything around that prison feels like home. You know how to drag the reader into the narration :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot sindu! :) Im glad you liked it. Yes, It can be all the worse a feeling for those people.. read moreThanks a lot sindu! :) Im glad you liked it. Yes, It can be all the worse a feeling for those people, released into an almost alien environment. Thanks for the compliment on the style, it means a lot :) cheers
Excellent, very precise word choice! This is simply a SUPERB piece. It could have been prose, but poetry is also great. You even made it rhyme!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot Victoria, Im glad you found the piece great. I was in a frame of mind to make this into.. read moreThanks a lot Victoria, Im glad you found the piece great. I was in a frame of mind to make this into a song someday, hence this form took shape :) cheers
Very beautiful, maybe it was January I was reading Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens that book had story of guy who spent most of his time in prison, goes out no one knows him and end up killing his father who was responsible for his prison fate. That story had the emotions which I could connect with your words. It's very touching and comes with a powerful message.
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot for the review man, I'm glad you could connect so well to it. I'll check out the book, .. read moreThanks a lot for the review man, I'm glad you could connect so well to it. I'll check out the book, seems like an interesting story there! Cheers
Indeed, after such a long time in the prison, the persona's only reality, and what he knows, is the prison itself. So many goals to achieve.. a house, a home, a chant, a prayer. Yet, the persona is clearly bound by the metaphoric prison in his mind, even though physically, he is uncaged. I like the way you transit between determination and uncertainty between each stanza, for it reminds us of the uncertain, unpredictable nature of our mind.
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot tejash, I really appreciate your kind review. Yes the unpredictability of the mind and .. read moreThanks a lot tejash, I really appreciate your kind review. Yes the unpredictability of the mind and it's uncertainty is something we can never discount for the sake of rational judgement about a person, it's almost cruel not to consider this ever so human tendency of man's mind. Cheers
Hey, I am Roshan, I am a poet, writer, musician and artist. I love poetry and it has gotten the best of my creative side off late.
I sincerely hope you folks enjoy checking my content out and let m.. more..