The Last

This piece pictures the last day mankind spends on earth; it realizes that it is a part of the evolutionary journey of the Earth and not its last stage, embracing its destiny with dignity and humility

While the storm whiles away today,

We can see the lights, they’re not fading away.

There’s just so much that time can take,

Our memories can’t be erased, they can’t be faked.

At a distance, I can see you carry my load,

This light is not of our suns’ but the rays for another road.

 

Proud, we have made the woods and stones smile,

There’s only us and the moon tonight.

Eyes have seen the wonders even if it is for a while,

Get up and see the beauty of the created.

 

It is about time we laughed at our pride,

For the dreams of never dying had died.

In the sweet wake of its sublime present,

One more morning, the mother has in mercy sent.

For the first time, with the joy of forgoing foresight,

With the last drink in, cheers for what we’ve done right.

 

The balance has woken up from its comforting sleep,

There’s never a dull moment on this stage.

We can only imagine what this birth brings, now that we’re deep,

Maybe this is exactly when we break from this cage.

 

The air seems lighter this evening, the eyes mellow,

No one questions as the flowers are no longer yellow.

The autumn has peaked its power this moment,

The leaves and their redness have this path coated.

The glimpse of your smiles, the sight of your likeness,

All will we take and move embracing into the brightness.

 

Love is not to be lost in the gravity of this land,

It rises into the stars to be one with its kind.

Our marks seem indelible on these waters, they don’t understand,

What we’d made here was a gift, and now a gift from the blind.

Written By Roshan Nair

Copyright © 2015 Roshan Nair

Author's Note

Pardon any grammatical (unintentional)or rhyme (intentional) based liberties I've taken. Hope you guys enjoy it ! would love to hear your reviews

Reviews

[Afraa]

How did this not get ONE review yet? I swear, people can be real lazy to read and review! Now that I got that out of the way...

You might come across many people on here who don't like rhyming poems, but I have always loved them and always will. This is quite a mesmerizing piece, and by reading this, I can tell you see things through a different perspective in life. This piece is packed with great imagery and is very meaningful. For that, you should be proud of this, and you managed to impress me. Also, excellent job with the stanza structure and the organization. The font is perfect for the piece as well.

Kudos to you!

Thank you for sharing!

[Roshan Nair]

Thank you so much Afraa for that kind review. I am new here and have joined just hours ago. Im hoping to get my work more out there. Im glad you find my work interesting. will keep posting :)

Cheers!

[Afraa]

You're very welcome.

I knew you were new, just by looking at your profile. But you have a way with words, and for that, I look forward to reading more from you.

Enjoy your time here!

[Roshan Nair]

Thanks again ! I'm already having a good time reading and reviewing some great pieces here already. glad I found this platform

[Frank]

While the storm whiles away today,
[whiles away for a storm doesn't make much sense and the grammar is odd but we can forgive that ]
We can see the lights, they’re not fading away.
[overstating just for a rhyme, in my view rhyme is a waste of time, it the meaning I want, if we do rhyme why not be traditional and go metrical, and rhyme is still incidental to me. Some curse slanted rhyme, assonance rhyme and alliterated rhyeme, but why rhyme at all?]

There’s just so much that time can take,

[to me this is just there to complete the rhyme scheme, it means little in the poem]
Our memories can’t be erased, they can’t be fake.
[why question our memories, what has this to do with the poem?]

At a distance, I can see you carry my load,
This light is not of our suns’ but the rays for another road.

Proud, we have made the woods and stones smile,
There’s only us and the moon tonight.
Eyes have seen the wonders even if it is for a while,
Get up and see the beauty of the created.

It is about time we laughed at our pride,
For the dreams of flying hasn’t but of never dying had died.
[needs reworking]

In the sweet wake of its sublime present,
One more morning, the mother has in mercy sent.
For the first time, with the joy of forgoing foresight,
With the last drink in, cheers for what we’ve done right.

The balance has woken up from its comforting sleep,
There’s never a dull moment on this stage.
We can only imagine what this birth brings, now that we’re deep,
Maybe this is exactly when we break from this cage.

The air seems lighter this evening, the eyes mellow,
No one questions as the flowers are no longer yellow.
The autumn has peaked its power this moment,
The leaves and their redness have this path coated.
The glimpse of your smiles, the sight of your likeness,
All will we take and move embracing into the brightness.

Love is not to be lost in the gravity of this land,
It rises into the stars to be one with its kind.
Our marks seem indelible on these waters, they don’t understand,
What we’d made here was a gift, and now a gift from the blind.

I could not make much of it at all, it does jump an=bout a bit. Sentimental maybe but the wording is hard to follow and I miss a constant theme.

[Roshan Nair]

Thank you frank for the review. I appreciate your inputs on the piece, I am new to this avenue of expressing myself and will keep improving.

[Ishita Dixit]

People make movies on this topic.
You chose to write a poem on it. So that's 1-0!
I loved this line-
"There's only us and the moon tonight"
Amazing poem. Thanks for sharing!

[Roshan Nair]

Thanks ishita, your comment really made my day.. :) glad you liked the piece !!!

[Ishita Dixit]

You're welcome! :)

[Sakshi]

Awesome! Didn't I tell you that you'll love this space :) Now keep writing and keep thode 30 unread verser be spilled over the web! :)

[Roshan Nair]

You have no idea how much your suggestion has helped me sakshi! cheers ! :)

[Gabrielle]

The fact that this piece was in cadence and rhyme made my day. I loved it. It was deep and classic.

[Roshan Nair]

Thanks a lot gabrielle! most of my works have that element, will keep you looped in of any other post I get out.

[Gabrielle]

I would love that! keep up the amazing work!

[Valentine]

A deep write, and your writing is fine." There's just so much that time can take, our memories can't be erased. " There are many fine lines in this. Welcome to the Café. Kathie

[Roshan Nair]

Thank you so much kathie! Really appreciate your review! :)

[Ryan Henderson]

I liked this piece. A good rhythm as well as flow. Great vocabulary and an interesting idea for a poem. I have not read any poems like this, but it is pretty cool!

Love is not to be lost in the gravity of this land, It rises to the stars to be one with its kind.

This line is very powerful, it show the boundless depth and limitless possibilities that love has. Very good!

[Roshan Nair]

Thanks a lot ryan! I always like it when poets interpret any work of mine, take a couple of lines and derive depth from it... it gives me so many more reasons to write! thanks for the review, glad you visited!!

[Ryan Henderson]

My pleasure! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the words.
"Proud, we have made the woods and stones smile,
There’s only us and the moon tonight.
Eyes have seen the wonders even if it is for a while,
Get up and see the beauty of the created."
Powerful words and thoughts. The poem would need a long conversation. I like the flow of thoughts leading to a very good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Roshan Nair]

Thanks a lot ! I greatly appreciate your encouragement, it moves me to write more and share. thanks for the visit!

[Coyote Poetry]

I'm glad and you are welcome.