Chapter Three

Chapter Three




I drift between reality and dreams… Everything is still black, but I can’t feel… anything. It’s like I’m detached from my body, an observer of myself. I can hear the muffled shouts of everyone. I can’t tell what they’re saying, it’s too stuffy to tell.

An overwhelming calm still hugs me. It’s begging me to join it, to get back into the state I was in when I was in the water.

But now Leon’s here.

And that changes everything. Or maybe nothing?

I can’t think very clearly. I just know that his name’s important. A person? Place? I try to remember but end up in pain, so I retreat back to the quiet calm. Then the stuffy noises grow quieter and quieter… And the calm is begging me now, showing the light I could be in if I simply give up. Leon, Leon, Leon. I try to repeat to myself. I have to stand my ground… for some reason.

Suddenly, the calm fades rapidly. Leaving me behind. I want to chase it down, beg it to forgive me. To put me back in its haven. But I feel a slight tug towards the opposite end. So I reluctantly give up the peaceful place, heading towards the pain again.

I can feel my body again. And man, does it hurt. I can’t trace the pain, I’m too tired to try, but it aches, not going away. I should’ve gone with the peace. It wouldn’t be like this if I had…

There’s no turning back now, I try to tell myself.

And with this new-found pain comes a clearer head as well. They’re only whispers, but I can catch a few things: worried, brother, Rosemary. The last part sticks out to me. Rosemary, Rosemary, Rosemary. Until something clicks. That’s my name.

The click triggers another part of information: Leon is my brother. He is the reason I keep fighting. Not that I can now. It’s way too late to turn back to the comforts…

I feel someone grab onto my hand, squeezing it so tight I start to lose feeling in it. But it still feels warm. And it keeps me from falling asleep. I feel so tired, but I have this feeling that I should be awake. That I shouldn’t give into my weariness.

I groan, the pain in my chest has increased greatly. With it comes more words: Fading, failing…dying. Why are they talking about death? Is someone else dying? Then I realize: They’re talking about me. And their words certainly feel true, with the pain and exhaustion threatening to grab me. But I focus on Leon. I’m staying for Leon.

“Rose, please don’t give up… Please… Not now…” I hear another whisper say.

They know my name. My real name. Not Rosemary… Rose. It must be Leon. I want to respond, but my throat feels so choked, and I know if I speak, it’ll cause more pain… But I need to let him know…

“I… won’t…” I manage to choke out as the pain increases in me.

It was worth it… So, so worth it. I feel the hand holding mine loosen in shock, but then quickly hold on tight again. They must’ve thought I couldn’t speak.

“Rose… Are you okay?” I hear the whisper ask.

I nod, speaking hurts, and it’s better to just give him signals.

“Can… you open your eyes?”

I frown slightly. I wonder if I can; I hadn’t thought of it. I muster strength in myself as I try to focus on the upper part of my body. I try to move my eyelids, but they are heavy. They weigh down, warning me to not open them. I gather all my energy, then tug on them as much as I can.

And they open to a whole new world. One of such bright lights and a face staring down at me. And I know one thing: This is Leon.

“Rose,” I see him choke out, his eyes welling with tears.

I smile sluggishly at him, “Hey, Lemon…”

His arms immediately collapse upon me. I try to lift my arms to hug him back, but opening my eyes took a toll on me. Everything feels so painful, like thousands of people have trampled over my body.

He pulls away, “Sorry, I bet that hurt…”

I smile at him and shake my head. It felt amazing. I have my brother back. That’s all that matters…

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!” I hear someone shout.

My heart immediately sinks and my smile fades. It’s Larry. I stare back at him. I ain’t giving up my voice to answer this guy. Only Leon deserves it.

“YOU COULD’VE KILLED YOURSELF!” he shouts.

Well, duh, that was the entire point, I think to myself as he angrily paces around the room. A doctor comes up to him and whispers something into his ear. This seems to calm him.

“Sorry… I’ll give you time to recover,” he mumbles, then heads out a door to the right of my cot.

It’s then silent, except for the frantic whispers of doctors. I can’t understand anything they say, but they’ll often look back at me, apparent wonder written on their faces.

“Why did you do it?” I hear a soft voice whisper.

I look back to Leon, his eyes not directed toward me. He seems to be staring off into the distance.

“I saw the whole thing… They brought me out… and the first thing I saw was your entire body duck down into the river,” he says, his voice cracking, “Why did you do it?”

I look around for something to tell him and my eyes land on a notepad the doctor had been using. I point to it, trying to tell Leon that I can communicate with him that way. He understands and grabs it for me, then hands me a pen.

He sits on my bed beside me, his legs crossed as he waits for me to start writing.

I chew on my lip, then start to write: I’m sorry… I couldn’t think of anything else in order to keep you safe.

He reads it, then asks me, “How is…” he looks away from me before saying, “...killing yourself helping me?”

I grab my hair, twirling and messing with it: It’s not like that… I didn’t mean… I cross that out, I meant that I just didn’t see any other option.

He fusses with the sheets, “So… you died because of… me?”

My heart breaks as I look at his sorrowful face. Why am I so bad at explaining this?

It’s not like that, I try again, I didn’t know where you were and I thought they might question me, and I didn’t want to tell them where you were… and if you were captured to tell them you were related to me. They would’ve killed you in one fatal swoop.

He pauses, considering what I wrote, “But… why didn’t you listen to them? They aren’t going to kill us-”

I shake my head, Leon… I know you want to believe them. And I understand, I really, really do… But there’s no way they’re telling the truth…

“So they were lying about Mom?” he asks, his eyes gleaming with hope.

I shake my head again, I… think that’s the only truth they did tell…

He stays silent, rocking back and forth.

“I just want things to go back to normal,” he finally whispers.

I want to hug him. So bad. But my body still resists most of my commands, and my hand is starting to feel sore from writing.

Me too, Lemon… Me, too… I manage to write.

He just grimaces. My heart aches for him. I didn’t mean to drag him into this… I was just- I sigh. I don’t know what I was trying to do.

From the corner of my eye, I see the doctors look worriedly at each other.

“Perhaps we shouldn’t allow them to talk to each other…” I hear one mumble to the other.

Fear strikes in me like a lightning bolt. Are they going to take Leon away… again?! My throat feels so sore and I know I would barely be able to croak my protest if I could. Anger spikes in me. If they take Leon away again… I-I’ll do something. But I know I wouldn’t be able to. I’d most likely just flail around as they look pitifully at me.

I watch in horror as one of the doctors makes their way over to Leon. This can’t be happening. I can practically hear an evil laugh as they grab Leon’s arms. I am not letting this happen.

I use all the strength in my body and wrestle in my sheets. Thankfully, they weren’t smart enough to tie me down. I quickly launch my body at the doctor, pinning them down to the ground. I stare him dead in the eye as his eyes widen in horror and surprise.

I can feel the doctors around me try to grab onto me, but I wrestle them with all my might. I did not emerge from my suicide for Leon to be taken away from me again.

“C’mon, kid! It’s not that serious!” I hear a doctor say to me.

I shake my head in reply and continue flailing around. I feel like a weak toddler throwing punches at their parents.

“Okay, okay! We won’t take him away!” I hear one doctor finally plead to me.

I look skeptically at the one who spoke.

“We mean it!” he says to me again, “We just didn’t see any point in seeing you here when we knock you out-”

His eyes widen in horror as he looks back at me. But I shrug. I knew there would be consequences like this when I came back. All I want is for Leon to be safe- I don’t matter.

He quickly adds, “It’s not like what you’re thinking- I promise. We just need to make sure the water in your lungs is all gone.”

I shake my head, I know he’s just trying to make me calm.

He sighs, “Look at the way you are reacting and moving now. We wouldn’t be able to get a clear scan of your lungs and then we’d have to repeat it multiple times.”

I tilt my head to the side. He does make a fair point. I can feel my body’s energy depleting again. It’s exhausting, so maybe a sedative wouldn’t be so bad… But how do I know that they’re actually doing what they’re saying they’re doing?

An answer comes to mind: Leon. If he stays in the room, surely he can watch over me… I inwardly sigh, I’m supposed to be protecting him. Not the other way around. I frown, I don’t exactly have a choice.

“So can we please get you back in your bed?” the doctor asks.

I hesitate, then nod. As the doctors lift me up, I look at Leon, hoping my eyes illustrate the way I need him here. At first, he doesn’t seem to be paying attention to me. Then I see the faintest of nods. He’s in.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my beating heart. I knew that there would be consequences. Now I need to own them. Even if it means being sedated and having absolutely no control over what is going to happen to me next.

I push off the thought as the sheets wrap me in their smoothness. It’s like everything around me is telling me it’s going to be okay. I try to repeat that to myself and the doctor lifts up a vial.

“Are you ready?” the doctor asks me.

I take another deep breath, then nod. He presses the vial against my lips, the cool feeling almost chilling me to the bone, and I swallow it carefully.

Then everything goes black again.

~ • • • ~

My body seems to float in the abyss. Weightless. Thoughtless. There are slight ideas around me, but I can’t concentrate enough to understand them. I see familiar faces. Hear the voices of people I think I know.

But they never stay. They zoom by me like I’m in a speeding car going way too high of a speed. I try to touch them, but I find I have no hands. My body is a big blob of mass, and my mind is the only thing active.

I try to remember why I’m here. Where I am. Who I am. But those memories fail me. All I can think of is the current. And the logic.

I slightly cringe as a voice shouts from the muffled silence, “PLEASE, PLEASE, ROSE!! STOP!!”

I turn away from the voice. It’s annoying in all this quiet space. Well, it sure seems quiet now that it’s stopped. It feels… almost endless. Almost crushing. And I can feel the pounding of my heart as I realize there’s no way out. I’ll be stuck in this endless deafening silence for the rest of the time I exist. There is no escaping. And instead of scaring me, like I’m sure I’m supposed to, it feels almost like a relief. Nothing can touch me here. Well, except that one voice. But I’m sure I can get over it. I always seem to get through…

At least… that’s what I think.

As I accept my fate, I relax my body further. But then the darkness is lightening, turning gray. It’s not welcoming anymore, it’s too bright. Too sudden. I don’t want to leave. It’s so relaxing, so peaceful… But I can feel the speed I was going getting slower and slower... Until I’ve stopped. And it’s all white.

I can’t take it anymore, and I close my eyes.

~ • • • ~

“It’s okay, Rose,” a voice whispers to me.

I groan, a slight headache forming.

“It’s going to be fine,” the voice repeats, “You’re awake now.

“What…?” I grumble as I slowly open my eyes, immediately regretting it. The light’s even brighter than it was in the darkness.

“They finished the scan, and they think it’s okay for you to go now,” the voice explains, his voice screaming with delight.

Wait… “Lemon…?” my dreamy voice says as I look around.

And there he is. His dirty blonde hair hanging over his face.

“You stayed,” I say, my brain trying to process everything around me.

“Of course I did,” he replies, looking worried, “You feeling okay?”

“Okay enough,” I mumble, massaging my growing headache.

“What do you mean by that?” a new voice chimes in.

I turn my head slightly in the direction. It’s Larry again. I sigh and turn back over. I don’t feel like having a huge argument right now. I’m so tired…

“I’m not hear to talk,” Larry says, probably trying to reassure me, “I’m here to apologize.”

I pause, “That’s… still talking.”

I can practically see his eye roll when he replies, “Well… you won’t be talking then.”

He pauses before continuing, “I’d like to apologize for… my actions earlier today,” he sighs, “You see, you and your brother… you’re just…” he searches for words, “Just so rare.”

I scoff, “So we’re just your secret weapons you’re going to pull out on the enemy?” I say the last bit with quotation marks.

He looks up to ceiling, muttering, “Why the heck do teenagers have to be so dramatic?”

Anger flares up in me, “Dramatic? DRAMATIC?! You think I’m being dramatic?! MY MOTHER IS DEAD!” I croak, “OUR WHOLE FAMILY IS DEAD AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT MY COUNTRY, THE COUNTRY I WOULD FREAKING DIE FOR, KILLED THEM?!”

He sighs, “I understand you’re angry but-”


“NO!” I explode, “YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT WE COULD BE GOING THROUGH.”

I rub my head again, trying to massage the headache away. The anger slowly fades by the silence.

“I can,” he whispers. And before I can reply he adds, “I’ve felt loss like yours before.”

I close my mouth.

“What do you mean? Who did you lose?” Leon whispers, surprising me. I forgot he was here…

He’s been listening in to me shouting… I want to hug him, and I probably could. But I don’t want to do it in front of Larry. Instead I lean in, curious to what he’ll say.

He pauses again before whispering, “My wife.”

I stare down at him and furrow my eyebrows, hoping my face clearly demonstrates how I feel, “That’s it?”

“What do you mean that’s it?!” he incredulously says, “I lost my wife!”

I shrug, “Yeah- that happens all the time. What else do you want me to think?”

He rubs his hand on his face, muttering words I can’t understand. It makes me feel slightly sorry for my words. But he could just be trying to earn our sympathy, so I won’t grant him mine. Unfortunately, I can already see Leon look away. He must think I’m an absolute monster for saying that… I sigh, why does everything I do make Leon hurt more?

Before I can try to whisper to Leon, Larry say quietly, “This… isn’t the way I thought things were going to go… But,” he adds before I can interrupt, “the real reason I came here was to tell you you have free access to the facility. Except the river until we can trust you enough to not…”

He leaves the sentence open, so I fill in, “Kill myself?” when he winces, I add more, “You realize the only reason, the only reason, I didn’t end up killing myself was the fact that Leon is here, unharmed. Otherwise you would not bring me back, even if you tried.”

He raises his eyebrow, “I doubt that, but I’m not going to go any further in these pointless arguments.”

With that, he simply leaves the room. Not even looking back. It… surprises me. I thought my response might trigger something in him. But he seems so… unsure. Like he has no idea how to treat me.

I push off the thought for now. I need to focus on the big picture: searching the building. He said I could go anywhere- except the river- so maybe I can find a weakness where Leon and I can escape…

“I’ll… be outside,” Leon says awkwardly, moving toward the door.

I’m startled by the suddenness. What will he be doing outside? I shake my head, he’ll probably be searching the grounds. I should’ve thought of that since I’m not allowed near the river.

I nod toward him, though he had already closed the door. An unsettling feeling fills my stomach as I stare out the door. I didn’t mean to shout when he was in the room… I take a deep breath. It’s not my fault. It’s not. It was Larry’s. He brought it up. I’ll just need to be more careful…

I try to push the thought off as I push away my bedsheets. I look around, but the doctors must have left already. They are nowhere in sight. I swing my legs to the side of my bed, I’m surprised by how heavy they are. Maybe while we’re here I can find some food as well…

My stomach growls, agreeing with me. Who knows how long they had me unconscious… They could be starving me and I would never know.

I put very little weight on my feet as I settle them on the ground. I slowly stand up, my legs buckling slightly. Frustrated, I lock my knees. I will not have my stupid, weak legs keep me back from escaping this place.

I lift my body up, my torso slightly swaying as I try to control myself. Don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall, I beg my body. My chest starts to lean forwards… DON’T FALL!! I inwardly scream. My body finally listens and stands up straight.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Now for the tricky part: walking. I cautiously lift up my leg, noticing the dead weight feeling, and take a step forward. Still stable.

I take step after step, careful to be slow. The embarrassment of falling I would feel would be tremendous. But it’s almost like I’m a baby learning how to march. So embarrassingly pathetic.

I start roaming the halls, but I quickly figure out that it’s pretty useless. Every room is the exact same, just a small office with a few books. The grey walls blur together as I keep walking, but I slowly get faster and faster at walking. Door after door. Fluorescent light after fluorescent light. It doesn’t seem to end.

I sigh as I grab another door handle and pull it open. But to my immense surprise, it’s not an office. It’s… a bedroom. But not like any I’ve ever seen. It’s almost completely black. The only light comes from a window in the back of the room, and even that is mostly covered by black curtains. Who in the world lives here?

Suddenly, I hear a toilet flush from a door I hadn’t notice. My whole body freezes, someone’s in here. The door handle turns and the door slowly inches forward. And in comes a… boy. Not a little boy, but not like one of the workers. He looks… familiar. His black hair, green eyes…

He sees me and immediately plants against the wall.

“WHAT THE-“ he exclaims, “WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!”

Author's Note

Yesss ik its short! (MUST. WRITE. FASTER) But I truly am SO happy so many people like this book!! I hope this satisfies your hunger for more story ;)

Reviews

[RenyReads]

I didn't cry this time (shocking, I know.) I could feel Rose's desperation for rest, yet love and responsibility for her brother. I am hoping for her physical and mental healing, and that maybe she punches Larry soon. I'm hoping that this incident isn't brushed off and that she actually gets mental help. Sadly, I can tell poor Leon is going to need therapy after this too. Many thanks to the author! -human

[RenyReads]

T-T. ALSO AHAHA THE POOR NEW DUDE