My love

Just an little writing I've been working on This week

We sat on the jagged rocks by the water. The moonlight moves with the waves and the wind blows her hair like a movie scene. The pitch black couldn't blind me from her radiant smile. Everyone says I give this girl to much credit for making me who I am, I think I don't give her enough. I feel obsessed but she calls it love. If I go a day without a text or call from her the feeling suffocation sets in. No matter how many cigarettes I smoke or activities I do to think about something else the feeling stays. The feeling of missing someone is the worst feeling a human being can have. As the ember of her cigarette lights up the rocks I think of the night I almost blew it with her. The night where I got back into smoking, went through half a pack in a matter of mere hours just at the thought that this girl I just met would never look at me again. I don't need to think about those times anymore because she's mine now. The silence kills me I don't need to say a damn thing but I feel the urge speak my mind. I wrap my arm around her and hold my tongue. I just soak in the moment where everything is in perfect harmony. Then I look her in the eyes and say "Darling with my world crumbling around me I can't find the peace to sleep at night. I'm left with no choice but to dream during the day. Everything is a nightmare dark, cold, and lonely. Friends just aren't friends, this job just isn't a job it's an aggravation, the thing I call home isn't a home but my own personal hell. No one understands my pain, they all I say I'm faking it when I ask for help. The only time my nightmares fade is when I'm next to you." She's silent not knowing what to say. I would be too how do you respond to something so deep like that but that's who I am. I'm young but broken. I had a great childhood my parents were together, always had what I needed but it's wasn't the physical things I craved as a child. I've always craved love and the warm feeling of another human being. I could never find that one in high school tho, the one I would want to date and talk to and tell them all my secrets and insecurities. I mean yeah we knew each other for four years but we didn't know each other. Hell for most of it I didn't even know myself. It's takes time to find out what you want but what you want isn't always what you need but I can tell you with all The confidence in the world that this girl
Is what I needed. She fit the requirement s to restart my heart. She's was smart, beautiful, she got my dark dry sense of humor, but most of all no matter what was going on in my life she always made me smile. I never found a girl whose presence could just make me smile, you know the smile you try to fight but your cheeks just raise and your eyes widen and you take that short breath and go "wow". While time seemed to stop she finally spit out a response she just simply said "I love you." It's those three words I've been wanting to hear for 18 years. Yes I heard it from family members but it's not the same type of love I needed. She rests her head on my shoulder as I proudly say "I love you too". Then we just sat there and watched the waves crash until the sun rose.