What Was She Thinking?

I wonder what she thought as she looked at me

For the first time since last September

Did she wonder how I had been lately?

Maybe she noticed I was smiling and making eye contact again

Did she notice how empty the smile was?

That my eyes were hollow and lifeless?

I’m sure she noticed I was less shy than I used to be

More outspoken and more noticeable

But probably not that my words were meaningless

She saw me walking right next to him

I’ll bet that gave her a surprise

Did she see how lonely I felt around him?

That most days, I feel single?

Then again, I felt that way with her as well most days

It’s not that I don’t love him, and didn’t love her

I’m simply drowning in loneliness

Did she see the old fire spark for a moment when our eyes met?

The old piece of me she had nurtured come to the surface?

For just a moment, was she, too, trapped in the past?