obsession

She fell apart right from the start.

Her dreams messed up. He held her back.

She wanted more than he could give.

She yearned for a life and all nice things.

He wanted her all to himself.

As for her she was his wealth.

Her confidence had set so low,

With no money, no

friends

and no place to go.

Tormented by beatings from his belt.

Her screams so loud and heard through walls.

All afraid to answer her calls.

She lives in fear inside these walls.

The day came when he

went too far.

He hit her with an iron bar.

He left her lying on their couch,

Blood dripping from her ear’s and mouth.

She died on that very day.

For him this was the only way.

For his actions he did get a fright,

And took his own life that very night.

Reviews

[WILDERNESS]

my my thats one stab in the heart poem. you are very direct and intense here. very different ............i m not sure whats going on......

[Tate Morgan]

So sad but often true of men who want but do not give

[emmajoy]

Your words drip tragedy from start to finish, they make very emotional reading. You've threaded a woman's sad life and laid it before your readers. However like the following reviewer i found things became a little awry at the end, the words are rushed, stuttering to an abrupt stop. But your poem has great heart, a sad heart, yes, but we all know there's reality in every sequence.

[screamin'ian]

I enjoyed it all the way through until the last two lines. The rhyme there is forced and the passive voice diminishes some of the power.
Well done, nonetheless ;)

[J. J. Nightingale]

A SAD STORY, ONE LIFE TOUCHES ANOTHER .. AND ALL FALL DOWN ...

REAL .. J.

[Mary C]

Good write, well expressed