Ode To Electricity

Electricity and the independent woman. A love story.

Ode To Electricity

O powerful giver of all great things.

I surrender to you.

This afternoon an unfortunate soul took out a power line, along with my cold box, my talking box, my interwebs and my sanity.

I was eating crackers, thinking about crackers and ignoring my work. Enjoying my bliss when a deafening silence fell over my home.

I went outside for a clue.

I hear a chainsaw in the distance. Rats.

Then the sirens. Some one hit a pole.

An unhappy turn of events.

I must now face the ugly truth.

I have a problem.

 

Hello. My name is Rosemary and I am addicted to electricity.

I now believe that poor chap that hit the pole was preforming an intervention in absentia.

I'm not ready! You can't do this to me!

I was in the middle of Googling something, I need to use the dishwasher, I was listening to the TV while I was working! What crackers?

I was working, eating, listening, researching and writing and I was using that light to see all the seeds on those crackers. I'm not hurting anyone, damn it.

What about the bill? They get their cut. They're over charging me too. If you take this away from me I'll get my electricity on the street and it won't be safe. I'll get a generator. It'll be loud and dirty. Is that what you want?

Crashing your car into a power line isn't going to get me off the grid.

Oh sure, I'll get clean for a couple hours maybe even a day or two. But I'll get my power back and when I do I'm going right back to goofing off online instead of working in the garden or that whole walking thing.

Hour one passes.

Oh damn. I might not get through this thing. What can I expect? Withdrawals? Flashbacks?

Already the sounds of nature are closing in on me. Mocking me. The birds are so loud. I might go insane.

O Powerful power

come back

Tie me to the grid

never let me go

I need to write everything down so when they find my body they know how I came to this horrible fate.

Can a person die from this? I don't know.

Hour two passes.

The dogs are circling me now. They sense that I'm getting weak. They look like they might want to eat me.

The little one scares me. Sure, she is only 2 lbs but it's mostly teeth and hair. Really frightening. I'm not safe now.

I checked to see how long my food might last.

I might have to eat my parakeet.

Don't judge me.

Walk a mile in my shoes. They're Italian. You'll hate yourself for going cheap. I digress.

Until you fall under the spell of a high voltage line, you just can't understand.

Two hours, five minutes.

Okay. I smoked my emergency medication. That should take me through the next 30 minutes.

I keep hearing things.

I miss Alex Trebec. .. I think Scrubs is on.

My neighbor has a hammer. I hear him hitting something.

I bet he is killing something. I'm next. I know it.

What if it gets dark before the power goes on?

Do I have candles? S**t. I ate them after I smoked the emergency medication. They were berry flavored. It was an honest mistake. They looked like truffles.

I thought that I must have had a moment of genius when packing the survival box. Berry truffles. Why not.

The fish are just swimming around like nothing is wrong. Like this is no big deal. Fancy guppies.

I might have to eat them too.

Two hours, ten minutes.

Oh Great Gods, It's back on.

My power has come home to me.

I hope the dude that hit the pole is okay.