The Liar's Paradox

I know you can see

Right on through me

And you’re tapping your foot impatiently

Waiting for me to slip

 

Beads of sweat run down my cheeks

Like the unshed tears I need to cry

The silence between us is so suffocating

Nearly breaking me

 

But I can’t tell the truth

Because I’m so afraid of hurting you

So afraid of what you’ll think

About this, about me

 

I am a coward

No longer do I deny that

I may pretend to be brave and strong

But I can’t even face my own mistakes

 

And I can’t tell you

The truth of things

Because the lie had been spun

And already out my mouth

 

I had never been one for guilt

So why is it eating at me right now

Oceans of guilt

Swallowing my soul?

 

This is the Liar’s Paradox

I want to tell you the truth

But every time I try

My voice fails me

 

I need to tell you the truth

Need the words to pour out

Need to fall into your arms

Need to beg for your forgiveness

 

But I just can’t get the words

Out of my mouth

Because I know you don’t understand

Why I had to do this

 

And the reason is stupid, I know

For lying I receive punishment worse

Than that I receive for

My original fault

 

But I don’t want to disappoint you

And I never think ahead

I just find that way to conceal my flaws

To keep them from you

 

I never thought to lie

Only to bend the truth

But once I started I couldn’t stop

Too deep in the raging water of lies

 

And it pains me

More than you’ll ever know

I’m driven to the near edge of sanity

Pondering if I should confess

 

If I do, what then?

Would you forgive me?

I know you hate being lied to

Would you be patient with me?

 

I know I’m wrong

I just want forgiveness

To take this off my chest

To finally be whole again

 

But no, there shouldn’t be mercy

For anything as horrid as this

And I really want redemption

But I guess it might not be offered

 

And I’m always stuck inbetween

So near the breaking point

Debating with myself

Debating with my mistake

 

Because I’m sorry

Because I’m a coward

Because I’m desperate

I’m living the Liar’s Paradox

Author's Note

......no comment......(uncharacteristic, I know)

Reviews

[Brielle Cartny]

Oh mu goodness right now at this very moment i feel like this. My heart was recently broken by a family member through their actions and i am afraid to tell her how she made me feel. I am so cowardly i slipped her a note instead of telling her straight out because i am afraid she will be mad at my inner anger. This portrays everything perfectly. Well done.

[Rose of Gondor]

Slipping a note is sometimes better than telling someone straight out because you won't see their reaction. Your heart won't be broken even more. :) I hope your conflict is resolved and thank you for the wonderful review!

[Brielle Cartny]

Thank you much. I dont know if she looked at it yet. It is late in the day.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

That was an epic poem... guilt can be a heavy burden to carry around... it starts to build a wall between you and that person until you use the wrecking ball of truth to know it down.

[Rose of Gondor]

Thank you for that.

[Allen Smuckler]

intense, honest and sincere...
More importantly....I could have written this
Without getting into specifics...your words, your angst, your desperation is both real and personal...It is so true...
so poignant and heartfelt.
when you find the answer PR....please let me know...
wonderful, though painful write...for you and for me
I was truly captured by it.
allen
perhaps I better save it to my Library...lest I forget