I Don't Want To Go To School

 

                I woke to my alarm clock that morning, I’d set it to 4:00 so I could avoid you know who. My head was pounding and I could barely get myself out of bed. I got out anyways, slapped on my favorite pair of blue jeans and an old flannel long sleeve shirt over a white T and slipped on some old sneakers, see I don’t dress up all the time, actually this is what I normally wore unless I had the sudden urge to look sophisticated. I slid down the stairs as quiet as I could and grabbed a muffin and a Dr. Pepper from the fridge and then went for the door. But he was there on the couch sitting upright with a blanket on his lap giving me a dirty look. We stared at each other for a minute but he made no move to do anything so I just went out the door and quietly closed the door behind me. I ran down the stairs, all eighteen flights of them, and went out the front door with a wave to the guard.

                “Hey Miss,” he said.

                “Hey Guard Dude,” I smiled back.

                I walked out onto the street and stopped to look up at the sky and think to do with the four hours I had before school started. I went off toward the bar in hope it’d still be open for some odd reason but no luck, the doors were locked. I went off toward the Brooklyn Bridge to watch the water. When I got there I sat on the edge of the walking edge and took out my little sketch pad. My mother had been an acclaimed artist when she was in her prime and I had just so happened to pick up my talent from her for that sort of thing. I drew the sun, rising over the water. There was a bit of a breeze and I began to shiver.

                “A little cold for just a flannel shirt hu?” a jacket was thrown over me that smelt of smoke and cheap perfume. I looked up and then over and there was Wolfey leaning over the rail looking at the water with a thoughtful expression on his face.

                “Stalker,” I accused him roughly shrugging off his jacket, “I don’t want your filthy jacket!” I tossed it back at him and he caught it easy without looking.

                “Actually I was here an hour ago, so you’re stalking me,” he flashed me a grin.

                “How could you?” I asked in an outraged voice getting to my feet.

                “Hmm. That would depend on what it is you’re referring to,” he said calmly always watching the water.

                “You know damn well what I’m talking about!”

                “No honestly I don’t,” there was no hint of a lie in his voice. I stared disbelievingly at him.

                “Look at me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t send anyone to kill Brother,” I said menacingly to him. With a gasp he griped the rail harder and turned to face me with outrage.

                “How dare you, how dare you accuse me of such a thing. I had no hand in his ‘rumored’ assassination! I merely uncovered it!” He was panting now and I started to seriously reconsider what Hound had said. Who would I trust that scoundrel or the man I had once professed to love. I looked back at the water in embarrassment.

                “No don’t worry about it. It’s over now regardless of what you believe. Brother Bear is safe.” He went back to staring sadly at the water and I turned away. After a minute I started to walk away but.

                “Ray, wait up,” he called. I looked over my shoulder for a second but then thought better of it and kept on walking. He caught up to me panting.

                “You really should stop smoking and drinking you’ll die soon.” I gave him a dirty look and picked up my pace.

                “If I do… will you give me another chance?” he gave me the eyes and I stopped.

                “Wolfey,” I sighed, “we’ve been through this, never again, not for the whole of eternity, I will never ever go out with you ever again!” I started to run now bumping into to people every now and then, taking drastic turns and wiggling away through the crowd trying to get away from him but my late night wore heavily on me and I had to stop. He came to stand beside me panting heavily.

                “Come on... he doesn’t want you,” he panted.

                “Sure he does he just doesn’t know it!” I shouted half crying.

                “Of course he does, no one can be in love with you and not know it,” more panting.

                “No he knows it, he just doesn’t want to admit it,” tears started down my face,”please, I don’t want to do this, please go away.” I started to run again off towards the school. He followed.

                “Ray maybe just for fun, we don’t have to tell anyone, we don’t have to dine or… or go to each other’s places or go to the movie. Why don’t we just… just talk you know, just talk.” I slowed to look at him. There was a tear on his right cheek. I brushed it off tenderly with my finger and left my hand there. He seemed to treasure the touch, his face was so pale.

                “Just friends ok,” I nodded for him to answer.

                “Yeah, friends, that’s better,” he whispered but that was enough to send the smoke smell up my nose.

                “And get some tic tacs,” I backed away and waved the air in front of my face. He looked at me sadly then sighed.

                “I’ll see you around… I guess.” He rubbed the back of the neck and gave me a questioning glance.

                “Sure, I can’t wait,” I gave him a forced smile. He seemed to accept this then he turned around and walked off.

                I went off to the café down the street from the school where all the kids hung out and waited out the last two hours of free time I had that day till 3:10. It started to crowd up about an hour later but I stayed in my corner and began to read a romance novel I hadn’t read in awhile. Thirteen minutes before school was going to start I got a txt from Sadie wondering where I was. I got up and started for the school while asking her where she was saying that I’d meet up with her. She said her locker so I met her there. She was leaning against it with her satchel draped over her head and arm. Next to her stood Morgan with her backpack on and her favorite chemistry book in her hands.

                “Hey guys,” I said cheerfully as I opened my locker and got out my school laptop and bag.

                “Hey Izz, what’s up you look miffed?” asked Sadie. Then Morgan glanced up to show her interest for a moment then went back to her book.

                “Nothing I can talk about here,” I whispered into her ear.

                “Oh,” she mouthed. Morgan kept her nose in the book.

                “Look why don’t we head to class I need to warm up after what’s been happening lately,” I sighed.

                “Mmmm… ok,” she agreed eventually. We walked off in the direction of the gym. Yes first period I had gym. Why, I don’t know, for some reason I had it first, the one thing I didn’t need help with. Oh well I got a good work up for school. I just hoped I didn’t pass out. Today we weren’t doing anything. We dressed out anyway and went out onto the gym floor. Sadie and I started stretching but Morgan sat down with her book in hand. We got finished stretching and I got up to yawn. Sadie started talking to Morgan, and I started a run around the gym. Half way around I turned around and stuck my tongue out at Sadie. She came running after me at top speed.

                “Catch me if you can!” I screamed.

                “Hey, you ladies quit horsing around,” shouted Mrs. Eatman, the gym teacher from the hall as other girls filed into the room.

                “Ok! Time for stretches,” Miss McMan.

                We got around to doing our stretches, eventually. None of the girls really cared they were all wrapped up in their personal trainers. I looked around and all I saw were plastics, you know like in Mean Girls. Our school from the outside was known as a school for privileged students; I knew it as a school for rich fools whose fathers couldn’t stand to have them around and had the money to waste sending them there. Don’t get me wrong the courses were though enough but there were only a few of us in the AP courses the rest laid around in the regular classes where I don’t think they did anything. Of course not all of them were those annoying Barbie, a few of them were here on scholarship and those were the people we normally hung out with. They sat chatting to each other and started putting on makeup. Sadie and I were the only ones who did anything physical, Morgan had sat down with another girl who couldn’t put down her book obviously another scholarship. We started showing off with how many pushups we could do then we went over to the pull up bars. It was fun to jump up and start swaying like we were weightless. Before we knew it the teachers were calling for us to get dressed. We raced to the dressing rooms while the other girls slaked behind. We ended up waiting for Morgan who was late talking to the other girl. She took so long! We ran off to History. We were studying World War I, a fun subject, of course I knew all the answered but as per usual Morgan was the only one who bothered to raise her hand. After that we went to math where we did some fantastically boring calculus stuff, no need to go into gory details. That was it for the begging of school; next was lunch and free period. My little gang went off towards a restraint a little ways from the school as the other girls sat on the front steps and hung around the recreation area. We enjoyed our burgers with extra cheese and mustard and then we laughed at all the stick girls’ faces. We had to go back to classes after about an hour or so of free time we had to go back to school. We ran off to English, my favorite subject, not sarcastically speaking. We were studying Julius Creaser, the play by Shakes Spear, another one of my favorite subjects. It unnerved me how many students there were in my AP English class, only me, my friends, and two other random girls. We went to Science next, lovely college level physics. So fun was this class that I ended up falling asleep after two minutes of Mrs. Crone’s monotone voice. Luckily I was in the back of the class and Morgan was there to tell me what we were studying and then whisper the answers in my ear whenever Mrs. Crone unexpectedly called on me. Finally it was time for my art class! Sadie went off to fencing and Morgan went off to robotics. I went down to the Fine Arts department alone, this was my home, and I lived for the arts! I went to my class and sat down at my easel; this nine weeks we were studying painting. Miss Hagle was sitting at her desk sketching a portrait and my classmates around me were painting whatever, some didn’t even have their brushes out. Today I painted the window in my classroom and thought all the while about Ben and what he might be doing right now. Finally the bell rang for us all to go home and I was out before anyone else could even think to gather their supplies. With a quick goodbye to Miss Hagle I left the school without a backward glance.

                “Hey, not so fast, you still need to tell me what’s been going on!” shouted Sadie from somewhere behind me. It was all I could do to keep from falling down on the street; I turned around anyways to give her the glare. A little ways behind her came Morgan with her nose in her book still. We went to our bar and sat down in our booth where I described to her all that had happened that past 24 or so hours.

                “Wow,” she said, Morgan continued to stare at her book,” Morgan would you stop,” she pulled at her arm but nothing changed.

                “You know that’s pointless,” I sighed.

                “Oh but she needs to start talking to people or else she’ll never learn how to participate in normal society.”

                “Normal society! She’s a labaholic! She never steps foot outside that lab of hers! Only for school and us!” I wish they’d just let me go home!

                “Look Izzy I know you’re a highly trained spy but can’t you just have a normal weekend for once?” she stretched her hand across the table to hold mine; I pulled away and got up.

                “Sorry Sadie but I’ve got to go home and take a nap,” I yawned.

                “Ok, but don’t do anything drastic, nor anything fun without calling us,” she smiled and waved as I walked out the door waving back.

                “Hey Izz, what’s up?” asked Dex. He had one hand on the door and was ready to push it open.

                “Hey Dex, I’m fine, how are you?” the chilly air was starting to get me and I could feel myself waving back and forth.

                “I’m fine. You… you know you don’t look so good,” he said questioningly.

                “Oh, I’m just really tiered,” I turned around and started for my apartment, “hey I’ll see you around, have fun with Sadie and Morgan!” I smiled as he went in the door.

                I finally got home, I ran up to my room before Ben could even hear me, if he was even here. I slung myself onto the bed and pulled off my shoes and socks and curled up under my covers.

                The next thing I knew I was awakened by shouts down stairs. I looked at my clock: 9:37. I got out of bed and put on my slippers feeling a little light headed. My eyes couldn’t quite open fully. I opened my door as quite as I could and looked off into the dim light down in the living room. There was Ben standing over the couch. From what I could see from the changing TV light he was very angry and wore a face he seldom showed. It was scary just looking at it. I felt sorry for Viki even if she deserved it and we were rivals. She jumped off the couch and sprang at him.

                “What the hell, are you serious, just brother and sister?! Have you seen the way she looks at you?! I just can’t believe you.” Her voice was sharp and hurtful and for an amazing moment I saw him flinch for a second. Her voice dropped then for a more menacing tone, “after all you just spent last night hanging at the bar until midnight on a school night, at least that’s what you want me to believe.” She laughed and plopped herself back on the couch and stared menacingly at the TV. He stood there stunned for a moment. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other then decided to move carefully closer to the railing overlooking the first floor. He put his right hand on his forehead, I wished I could just run down and hold him, but that wouldn’t please either of them at all.

                “Look,” his voice was hard and rough, “we were just… just having fun. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that was a sin.” I couldn’t believe he had to explain what had happened, granted I would have expected the same thing but she didn’t really love him, not really.

                “Never mind it doesn’t matter anyways,” she turned off the TV and pranced up the stairs to my right. I don’t think she realized that I was up there watching but when she did she gave me a disturbingly full of hate glare and then it all sank in. She was jealous… of me! A smile temporarily lit up my face but then I looked at Ben again and what I saw took my breath away. He kept his hand to his head and sat down on the couch. He rubbed his hands on his temples and just sat there not moving. I walked downstairs and stood in front of him.

                “Hey,” I said simply.

                “Hey,” he replied weakly.

                “You ok?” I asked as I sat down beside him and placed my hand on his back.

                “Oh, you heard? I thought you were asleep.” His voice was muffled behind his hands.

                “Yeah, I was,” I laughed.

                “Oh, sorry,” he took his face out of his hands and looked at me. It was hard to see if he was crying or not.

                “No it was nothing,” I gave him a smile; he smiled back at me surprisingly. “I’m sorry about the other night, that… that was…”

                “No I’m sorry; I got on to you to much. Don’t worry about it… so… are we, are we alright?” he asked tentatively.

                “Of course!” I said enthusiastically then I jumped on him and gave him a huge hug and he hugged me back and then everything was better, we were back to normal. Sadly normal wasn’t what I wanted.

Reviews

[Dylan I. Cree]

Oh I know how she feels about normal not being what she wanted. I've felt unrequited love it really blows.