The Procrastination Devil Collects His Dues

A Story by Roostersauce

Hi, I’m Micah, and I’m a Procrastinator. I’m telling you this because the Procrastination Devil stopped by for a visit tonight. Until very recently I was deep in debt, will everything being owed to him. I say I was in debt, because the manor of the Devils visit was to collect.

You see, I have this certain problem, and admission is the first step to recovery, or so they say. I’ve been procrastinating for some time now. Let me be the first to tell you, procrastination is a dangerous game. A game often played, but rarely won. You see, the game drew me in with phony promises and a false sense of security. It wrapped around me like a blanket, warm and safe, a momentary escape from the pressures of the world at large.

The feeling as I slip my quarter into the game and pull the lever is that of unworried bliss. Most of the time the game is played at slow unexciting pace. Every now and then I will succeed in a small victory; a few quarters from the game are dropped down, for me to take back. These small and spread out winnings are just enough influence to keep my faith in the game. Each quarter deposited is but a small fraction of my total bank. With the occasional winnings, I continue to pop in quarter after quarter, allowing my body and mind to go into auto pilot. I don’t perceive what is happening until I come to the realization that I have no more quarters. And in that moment, the game asserts total and complete victory.

The Devil is a smart man indeed, for you see, the only way to get to the game was by train, the procrastination train to be exact. This is not a free train however; this train charges it’s passengers a quarter a ride. In this moment of complete helpless was when the Devil himself first appeared to me. He offered to buy me into a table, the grand prize being a tremendous amount of quarters. As I was hesitant at first, the Devil explained that I can pay him back after I had won. With no money, and thus no way home, this offer sounded like a prayer from heaven. And so the game continued with one but small minor detail, the money I inevitably started to lose again was not mine. Being so far in debt, there is little one can do when the collector comes. The Devil takes far more than he gives, all being interest he explains.

As the Procrastination Devil left me tonight, stranded and ruined, he turned with a smile of evil satisfaction and whispered softly, “It has been a pleasure good sir, and I shall see you again soon.”