An Open Letter to Your Parents

if they would speak to me, this is what I would say...

I love everything about your daughter. I love the smell of her hair and the shape of her hands. I love the lines of her skin and the curves of her dimples. I love the blue of her eyes and the arches in her feet. I love the way she laughs at things I say and how she means it when she tells me she loves me. I love everything about her. I wish I could tell you this and let you know how beautiful of a person you've created and raised. I would shake your hand, look you in the eyes, and say the most sincere thank you that has ever come from my lips. Only parents of the highest quality could have raised a daughter as wonderful as yours.

But I can't shake your hand, I can't look you in the eye, I can't even speak to you- you won't acknowledge that I exist. Because in just the same way that my girlfriend is your daughter, I too am someone's daughter. That similarly makes our relationship invalid in your eyes. Regardless of the love felt between us or the happiness that we have found, you can't accept that your daughter loves another woman. So, you cut her out in hopes that when she comes back she has changed.

The days when I'm angry I sit and wonder how your daughter can be the wrong one in this as I look into her eyes and see tears welling up when she's realized you've caught wind of our relationship and that's why you won't answer her phone calls. How is she a villain when all she has done is love another human being with all her heart? How can you make her feel so badly about an emotion so human? Sometimes we sit for hours trying to answer these questions, but it always ends the same way... "they'll come around when they're ready" she says quietly.

Despite this, your daughter still speaks highly of you. She lovingly tells me stories from her childhood, your quirks and your good qualities. I can tell she wants nothing more than for me to meet firsthand the people that she's loved long before she's loved me.

So we sit in patience waiting, hoping one day you'll come around. And although we wish we didn't have to wait we will, because our love for each other allows patience in the imperfect parts of our lives.

Meeting your beautiful daughter has taught me more than just these lessons in patience. It has taught me what it means to truly love someone. I mean truly love someone. Love someone so much that I'm left completely vulnerable in a way I've never come close to feeling before. I've learned what it means to care about another person more than you care about yourself. I've learned that I am loveable even though I'm imperfect, and that I can forgive myself because she forgives me. How lucky am I to have someone like her in my life.

I write this letter to you, the parents of my girlfriend, hoping that one day you will realize that ignoring, avoiding, and hurting has never truly changed someone's sexuality and never will. Please don't ever forget the smiling blonde girl that you loved and raised so well. She is still there, just a bit older, but just as desiring of your acceptance and love as she has always been. If that day of acceptance comes I won't be able to open my arms wide enough to greet you. My mouth won't be able to stretch to a smile big enough to adequately express my happiness. Whichever road you decide to take, I will be there right beside her. I will wait with her forever. 

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Wow this is an amazing piece of work about acceptance we should all heed. I don't know why anyone, parents especially, could not find it in their hearts to see love for what it is, pure & simple. Awe inspiring read....

[Emily B]

it has been my hope for some time that i could help change the world for my daughter, no girl should be hurt this way by those who claim to love her

your words are strong, they are brave and they are just

thank you for waiting with her forever