me jurinal

For all you Harry Potter fans.

me jurinal

ello, luv.

this is the leetl princess ere, an yoo ar reedn me jurinal yoo ar, all aboot me wunnerful speriences in yoor bootiful newknightd estates, whare everbody is appy an all the produks is the bes what money can

blarst! thar gos anothr of thees wee felt marky pens. ill ave to dig me up another.

thar we ar, mites! good as new. wun thing fer sure, thees eres the land of plenny, sos they givs yoo yoor wants in bunches, lik thees ere marky pens what cums in the bagful, not seperate-lik, an wuns as good as the last sos yoo can always

blarst!!! thar gos anothr! if i gets me ands on thet bleedn

well, now! seems spider givd me a replasmnt pen, e did, with much apologys i mite ad, an this wuns gareanteed to rit fer the lif of

blarst blarst an blarst again! whatm i supose t do then, rit in me own blood? i oughts to tak thet blightr an

thar we ar! found me own lost pen, i did, jes stuk in me purses linin she wer.

so bak to me story.

i cums originaly frum the leetl town of bladderpool, in mary old england, i duz, jes a stones throe frum queensfart. sos thar i wer in me flat watchin the telly when what duz i see but OPRA ERSELF (!), an shes announcin this grate big ol contest. the jist of it wer thet she wants to no jus what (an im paeraphasin) the bleedn olyarse manooer it is we brits see in thet majikal leetl tike arry potter, anyway. well it may be a mistery to sum yanks, but ere in the crown theys no doubtin. an she sez sheel giv the ekwivalint of a thousan pownds to any bloke whatl get up on er stage an tel the werld!

sos i spent most of me lif savins, i did, an i bot me a plane tikkit fer noo york, the beeg appl as thay calls er, coz i intends to op rit up on OPRA!s stage an resite me very own arry potter pome. i figger i gots plenny time to finish it, but eres what i gots so far:

arry potter, arry potter, droppd is broom but then e cot er

or sumthin lik thet. ritin potery is a tuf job, specialy when all ye gots to work with is potter.

dotter. rotter. fot er

spider an pughly is me 2 bes frends in thees parts. thay maks sure i gets the bes deels fer me money, an ar ferevr bizy settn up me apointment with OPRA!, cuz thays in solid with all the beeg weels in this town. an thay sez im to trust nobody but them. everwun i arsk tells me this is sumwhares calld skid row in lost anjeles, not noo york. thay sez i mustv took the rong plane, but spider sez this is egzakly what to be lookin out fer.

otter. spotter. plotter.

its vary emportnt to ave good peepl watchin over yoo when yoor on yoor own lik this. sos both spider an pughly constntly trys to talk me into lettin them old me money (fer me own sak). as they always reminds me, its safr with them, but i pays bak theyr thotfulnesses by showin them i can andle meself. me quids and bobs stays in me nikkers whare thay blongs.

water. rot er. not er.

arry potter, arry potter, es a brit sos e wont totter.

or mebbe sumthin not so redoondant:

arry potter, smart as sherlok, is mums a wich, is dads a morlok.

an so ere i am, mites. jes sittin an waitin fer me ontoorage (thets only a jest, deers, spider an pughlys me troo frends, not me folloers). im in a leetl turny street betwixt murder an marauder, jes waitin, as i sez, fer the leemozeen what will tak me to the OPRA! stoodio.

thar aint nobody, luv, what can mor apresheate a goodly pome than OPRA!. why, shes been ostin sellebratys an roylty evr blessd day on the telly, an so she nos all thar is to no aboot the arts an whatnot. thet womn deservs a bleedn nobl priz!

OPRA!, OPRA!, look at arry. thet lad can fly jus lik a farey.

pughly sez thay gots the car, luvs! an ere it cums, ridin prowd down me leetl turny street with me bes mite spider at the weel! shes a tad rikkety, to be sure, with a brok winsheeld an rust all ovr. looks mor lik a lorry than a leemo. but pughly sez we cant be attractin no attenshun on the way. danjerus fer me fans as e puts it. im climbin in now. pughlys rit. nobody will thenk this bukkit is goin anywhare emportent. ill try to keep ritin as we gos, but i ope all the rakket an exsitemnt wont destrakt me.

ello, luvs! look, ere e cums: arry potter with is farey chums.

thay’s to many sillabls in thet last wun to be sure, but ifn i rewerks er a tad with the aksent on

oh, me evvens, this must be it! spider is pullin the car up to a dark leetl parkin lot bak of a darkr buildin, e is! it looks a sight, ter be onest, but e sez OPRA! cant never ave er big stars cum rit in the frontways, sos cummin in the reer lik this is all discreet an whatnot. i do beleev im gettin on the misty side. steddy on thar, leetl princess! yoo keeps thet upper lip stiff! i jes opes me air an me at looks allrit fer the camras. an now pughly is gettin the door fer me, bless im, jes lik a reglar gennuman leadn a reglar lady! this is it, luvs!

cot er, got er, shot er.

spider is givin me is special marky pen, sos i kin git im the big Os ottygraf meself. im usin it now, addressin the crown with me left and, i am, whilst speakn american with me rite. oh, me luvs, yoor leetl princess is a leetl queen! left foot proper an rite foot prim, an into a dark allway we gos. giv me all yoor luv, mites, an ill giv yoo all me eart, fer now ere struts yoor leetl princess with er chin eld igh, swishin an swayin lik bleedn roylty, me jurinal in wun and an me ottygraf pen in the other, dancin prowd on a clowd, rit on into the Ϡ/_؄