Life Out of BalanceA Poem by Robert Ronnow
Tonight I stayed at work until 7:00.
It was dark when I locked the front doors. Winter approaches again, soon the great coat huddled like a rug around me. The streets were active as usual, block residents hanging out front steps. I said goodnight to Nydian Figueroa, after school counselor. I bought a beer at the deli on Third Ave. from the Arab owner. He’s a bit upset about the bottle bill. Collecting bottles from small groceries could be a useful youth employment enterprise. I walked down Fifth along the park in the dark drinking my beer and looking at women. I need a good f**k badly. I tried to decide whether to go to the movies, a Hopi film Howard recommended, or just go home, watch tv and light a candle. Maybe I’d meet someone at the film. Can I handle the malady of going home tonight? If I die, I die alone. I turned west toward the subway past the museum, through the park. I can’t look at the myriad lights in buildings large enough to hold a small town. It increases my anxiety and anonymity to the breaking point. I hoped to be mugged, for the human contact. Two big guys looked me over, but I lowered my center of gravity and they passed quietly. Survival feels fine, proves I am alive. The white pines in this corner of the park hold a cool, earthy air reminding me of coming winter, that mortality is restful, of the black bear and swollen river I saw 500 miles away and only one day ago. © 2022 Robert RonnowReviews
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6 Reviews  Last Updated on July 6, 2022 Tags: life, balance, out, work, dark, door, winter, coat, street, night, school, beer, youth, walk, park, look, women, need, movie, home, die, west, museum, light, building, town, anxiety, mortality, air, human, contact, river, bear, earth Author
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