Stuff Me Full.

shove it all in.

as far as possible.

 

cram it with empty words.

and lost promises.

 

stitch it with pitiful attempts.

and chocolate pudding.

 

color it a bright shade of yellow.

to bring out the happiness that isn't there.

 

send it into the world.

 

see how long until the box breaks,

and the stitches rip.

 

and your soul is poured out for everyone to walk on.

Author's Note

feedback appreciated.

Reviews

[PaperHearts]

Nice! I liked this a lot. I thought it was great how simple the poem was, yet how deep and endless the meaning behind the words were. I loved your unique style of writing, and found the whole concept behind your piece really captivating. The imagery that you created evoked a lot of memories for me, in particular the fourth stanza about the paint. Great work! :)
~PaperHearts

[KL]

A pretty bleak poem conveyed in so few words. I agree with the punctuation bit - at least keep it consistent and use a period instead of a comma on that second last stanza, or turn them all to commas. Great concluding line, though. It sums it all up. Thanks for shizarrin'.

[Joshua Hood]

wow, this is soo deep.. i love this poem.. i really like this its strong.

[trainwreck]

I like the flow, but in certain places, it felt like a comma was necessary (color it a bright shade of yellow.
to bring out the happiness that isn't there.) But I still really enjoyed reading it. It seemed like a dare to me, like wanting revenge, but the other person is broken too, so you tell them to suck it up until they break and you have perfect vengance. Maybe I'm overreaching? but thats what I got out of it. Overall, very enjoyable to read.

[Kerry O'Connor]

A wonderful extended metaphor - strong message in these words.

[Kelley]

Ok that was a little strange. What was it about or why I sould say.
I liked it and the chocolate pudding was funny to me.

"see how long until the box breaks,
and the stitches rip."

Wow, simply wow. The poem is written with such simplicity, but such depth. It's raw, and bleeding with brutality and truth. Well done, dear.

[recklessfunk]

I agree with Bette - it's not overdone and you get your point across very vividly. I love the second stanza a lot :) Great job!

[Bette]

short and sweet with a punch. well done