PART 10 I AM AN OVERCOMER

How do we guard what we say?

10

Guarding Our Words

What we say in certain circumstances impacts our personal walk with God and the lives of others, whether they’re believers or unbelievers. The more clarity we have on a subject through the Word of God, the better equipped we’ll be in our mental attitude, speech, and actions. I’m sure at one time or another, we’ve said something like, did you hear about so and so, not knowing whether every word we’re conveying is accurate. The following two words classify such talk.

 

Slander

a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report

 

Gossip 

idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others

rumor:…a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts⁵²

As Christians, hopefully, our speech will be based upon a spiritual approach called:

 

Righteous Judgment

a valid judgment made on the basis of what is true⁵³

This begs the question.

How should we respond to situations when injurious words and actions are perpetrated against us or presented to us about someone else?

Here are a few examples to consider.

 

�-�When an unbeliever is slandering us.

When an unbeliever slanders, speaks evil, or unkind words about us, what should we say in return?

We should give them good words for their bad words. We should speak of those things; we can commend in them. If there’s nothing to praise, then say nothing.

Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love (a desire for another’s good) your enemies (those that hate us), bless them (to speak of those things which we can commend in an [enemy; if ] there is nothing that we can commend, to say nothing⁵⁴) that curse (slander) you, do good to (give your enemy every proof that you love him⁵⁵) them that hate (detest) you, …

Think about it; we’re not just saying something good about them but showing them proof that we care for them in our actions. Wow!       

               

�-�When an unbeliever injures us by prosecution in law or repeatedly injures us in any way.

We’ll stay with the same verse we looked at previously, as it provides sound advice for this circumstance.

Matthew 5:44 … and pray (for the removal of divine punishment; that they return to a sound mind; continual prayer to God for the man’s salvation⁵⁶) for them which despitefully use you (unjustly to accuse; make continual war upon), and persecute you (religious persecution; repeated injurious acts);

The natural response of, how could you do this to me shouldn’t be a consideration in our mind. Lord, break down their walls of hate with your freedom of love expressed in my life.                       

                       

�-�When names are mentioned to us in our conversation with others.

This aspect of our Christian walk can bring about much confusion. What should we do when a fellow believer speaks about a brother or sister concerning an action they’re alleged to have committed? If a person who has come to us is asking for advice on something that was said or done by another believer that injured them, we should direct them to some verses in the Book of Matthew. I wouldn’t ask what the accused did. Tell them to discuss the matter with them privately.

Matthew 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

If a Christian brother shall trespass (injure thee in any way, by words or conduct⁵⁷) against another believer, then the wounded should go and approach them alone (privately) to discuss the matter. If the offender shall hear thee, i.e., admits wrong and repents (to change one’s way of life as a result of a complete change of thought and attitude with regard to sin and righteousness⁵⁸), we’re told that we’ve gained our brother. What does this mean? The word gained in Koine Greek means to restore to be a consistent Christian.⁵⁹ This is an aspect of forgiveness that not only accepts an apology but provides scriptural instruction so that the offender can learn what God’s Word has to say about how they should think and act in accordance with the offense. Whether they actually repented will be exhibited by their future actions.

Matthew 18:16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established

If the accused chooses to not hear (refuses to listen; disregards the approach, or doesn’t admit guilt), then return with at least one or two more witnesses (first-hand witnesses, eye or ear) and discuss the matter again so that what’s said may be established (confirmed - to establish the truth, accuracy, validity, or genuineness of⁶⁰). What if there are no witnesses to the offense? Then, the matter is closed. I’d recommend taking it to God the Father in prayer.

Matthew 18:17a And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church,…

If the offender refuses to listen to the accusation or allows further dialogue but disregards the evidence of wrong behavior, then take the matter before those in the church who are authorized to try such cases - the representatives of the church.⁶¹

2 Corinthians 2:6-7 Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many. So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.

If they’re found guilty and repent, a church censure will follow that would remove them from the fellowship for a fixed time-period.

Matthew 18:17b …let him be unto thee as an heathen man; and a publican.

If no acknowledgment occurs, they’d be considered as a heathen man (Gentile) or publican (tax-gatherer) and would be indefinitely removed from the fellowship. In this scenario, a disclosure of the offense and punishment would be brought before the entire assembly so that there would be no confusion as to the incident.

If a believer brings up the decision that has been declared before all, then there’s nothing wrong about discussing this with other believers, as it has become public knowledge. Furthermore, if a matter is brought up in a conversation about what another fellow believer has allegedly said or done to another believer, tell them to advise the victim to follow the steps outlined above. 

Below are a couple of verses to keep in mind that will assist us in guarding what words we should and shouldn’t say.

Titus 3:2 To speak evil of no man (not to slander or gossip when names are named; to speak against someone in such a way as to harm or injure his or her reputation⁶²), to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men                                                             

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication (of a useless character; that which is depraved, [evil,] contaminating, and may denote here anything that is obscene, offensive, or that tends to corrupt others⁶³) proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying (the act of one who promotes another’s growth in Christian wisdom, piety, holiness, , happiness⁶⁴), that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

                   

�-�If we form an opinion about a fellow believer’s character and actions, this should be based on what’s true.

Our perception should be made on the basis of what things really are or on what has really happened. Otherwise, by looking unfavorably on the character and actions of others hastily, this could lead invariably to the pronouncing of rash, unjust, and unlovely judgments upon them.⁶⁵

Galatians 6:1-2 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault (someone is doing something wrong and is found out by others⁶⁶), ye which are spiritual (the spiritual experts in mending souls; one who is filled with and governed by the Spirit of God), restore (equip him to go on living his life in the right way⁶⁷) such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

If we find a fellow believer in the act of sinning, then confront them. Discuss the matter with the hope they acknowledge what they’ve done before God and, if be the case, to whom they have offended.

Galatians 6:5 For every man shall bear his own burden.             

After which, we should instruct them how to think Godly in relation to the problem area so that they’ll have the spiritual tools necessary to remain steadfast. This is called restoration and recovery.

                               

�-�When we’ve sinned against a fellow believer.

James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another (where one has injured another), and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much                      

Confess our sin to God the Father, and complete the process by going to the offended and admitting guilt.

 

�-�When we’re having difficulty addressing a particular mental, verbal, or overt sin.

When we’re having difficulty in an area, be it mental, verbal, or overt. Hopefully, we can go to a fellow believer who can keep confidence and ask them for advice.

Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens (help one another in difficulty of their burdens (troublesome moral faults; any problems that befall a Christian), and so fulfil the law of Christ.

                            

�-�When a believer is committing an egregious sin (e.g., adultery, fornication, homosexuality, incest, etc.), and everyone in the church is aware of it.

1 Corinthians 5:4-5 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

This is to be dealt with swiftly, and those assigned to judge the matter should ask the offender and two witnesses who are willing to testify of such to come before them.

With these thoughts in mind, here’s another verse reminding us how important the contents of the words are that we share with fellow believers.

Titus 3:2 To speak evil (in such a way as to harm or injure his or her reputation⁶⁸) of no man (when persons are named), to be no brawlers, but gentle (toward those who attack us), shewing all meekness unto all men.

Another aspect of our Christian walk that will help us to overcome will be found by answering the following question. What does it mean to be rich toward God?