Instructions

Instructions

A Poem by ron

Instructions

 



So I got something I am supposed to put together, a set of metal shelves…

-sighs-.

So the instructions are in some language that not even the Military could decipher.

 

So as far as I know…

Slot “A” should be inserted into peg “C”…

Wait how can you fit a slot into a peg?...Get a hammer, now I got it.

 

So slot “A” is bent, twisted, and soldered into peg “C”. YAAA!!! I’m making head way…(no that’s not a sexual position…Is it?)

Now take some nuts (no laughing that’s what it says) and put them in a bowl of cherries…

Oh the cherries are a lubricant…-smiling- I’m getting good at this.

 

Now attach the screws (stop laughing) and slide them into the holes (I said stop laughing this is very serious work I’m doing) "smiling-.

Lubricate with the cherry nuts…(ok if you’re not going to be adult about this you can leave).

 

Now with you rubber mallet (that’s not a sex toy) hit the screws so they twists over the nuts counter clock-wise (stop laughing) …I guess only in the U.S. its righty tighty lefty loosey.

Now take a break…oh this came from France J

 

Now after the break have a glass of wine…(that makes sense to me)…wine break…

“Why doesn't anyone love me boohoo”

 

OK wine break over.

 

Now reinsert pegs “B, A, D, and B” into…(wait so I have two “B” pegs?) "Sighs-

slot “A” and remove peg “C”…(Don’t ask but somehow it makes sense).

 

Now tilt at a 93.5867 degree…(are you freaking kidding me)?

I’ll just plum the damned thing…(knock on the door, it’s the French Embassy they want their shelves back).

 

-Sighs- I should have just gone through political channels it would have been easier.

© 2014 ron


Author's Note

ron
For anyone who has had to put anything together using instructions.
Update...I put the shelves together with a few extra nuts and bolts left over.

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Reviews

LOL! I love a good laugh! Thank you!
Nice little bit of light humour there.

Posted 10 Years Ago


ron

10 Years Ago

Oh? And what mood is that? :)
Matching Socks

10 Years Ago

I'm gonna go write something. :)
ron

10 Years Ago

Lol...I can't wait to read it.
Now this was seriously mind blowing:) truly enjoyed the read...

Posted 10 Years Ago


ron

10 Years Ago

Thank you Amos. I think my head hurts more after writing this one lol.
A. Amos

10 Years Ago

Imagine about our heads, if we were that smart you think sitting here:) you're most welcome
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The greatness of this poem has exploded my brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

Posted 10 Years Ago


ron

10 Years Ago

Lol...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to explode your brain.
Konigin

10 Years Ago

Its okay. XD It was just SO awesome....... :P :D
This is very funny indeed. Two things, since I am that stickler for details. nut's probably doesn't need an apostrophe and freaking is missing the A:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


ron

10 Years Ago

Alright 7 of 9 :)
Lyn Anderson

10 Years Ago

Gotta admire a man who takes "instruction" so well :)
ron

10 Years Ago

"I will comply" will only get you so far :)...but it will get you a lot.

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345 Views
14 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on July 7, 2014
Last Updated on July 8, 2014

Author

ron
ron

Imperial, CA



About
I have been writing on and off or more years than i care to remember. I started writing poetry, than i started a novel (still in the works), now I'm writing a six part short story erotic.. more..

Writing
Fangs. Fangs.

A Poem by ron



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