My dark side

My dark side

 

 

I have trained as an infantryman,

I learned how to kill effectively.

 

I learned how to carry out orders,

I was taught never leave a soldier behind.

 

Yes I can kill in the most efficient way.

 

But the most important thing I was taught,

was that life is sacred, to only kill if you have to.

 

It’s not something I am proud of,

learning how to kill.

 

I have traveled to other countries,

I have seen what the people have to offer.

 

I also learned that people can be the most beautiful things on earth.

They can show you love and compassion when you are in your darkest place.

 

So when people write of how they want someone dead, or hurting,

I feel it is because they hate themself the most.

 

I can hit a target a mile away,

I can squeeze off a round of the M60 and hit my target at 800 yards while my front sight post is bent.

 

But I can also give my rations to someone who is hungry.

I love to see their face when I give them some chocolate.

 

I can share a smoke with the elder of a village.

I would lay my life down so they will be safe.

 

It’s the hatred in the world the kills me inside.

what could we accomplish if we would only care inside.

 

This poem I write is the hardest thing I could ever admit to.

Author's Note

This is one of the hardest and most personnel things I have written.

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

"It’s the hatred in the world the kills me inside.
what could we accomplish if we would only care inside." What a compassionate thought this is....just lovely. The introspection in this one is intense. So revealing. Thank you for sharing this personal thoughts. Lydi**

[ron]

Thank you Lydia. :)

[s y e]

I think for you to write this in so much depth is unbelievable. As soldiers, I think you are scarred of what you have witnessed and been through. No one really knows how cruel the world is until they have experienced it first hand, like you. You are truly brave and amazing and an absolute Gem to this community and world. Such a personal write can be hard, but know that we're all here for you and we all thank you so much. Without people like you, we might not have even be here today.

[ron]

Thank you Sye. You are very kind. I have not seen as much as others.

[s y e]

Well that is a good thing, I think.

[ron]

I like to think it is.

[s y e]

I think so too.

[Latifa]

I truly felt this one Ron, as much as we often blame soldiers for what we see as cruelty
they deal with their own guilt and inner monsters and you have come to understand your mission in this world .
It is great for me to know how do soldiers feel and to understand their perspective,thank you for sharing it with us your fellow writers.

[ron]

Thank you and you are most welcome Latifa.

[Madalyn Beck]

I love this. My brother-in-law is in the army and I'm sure he would completely agree with your words. My favorite line:

"It’s the hatred in the world the kills me inside."

So very true how hate can destroy you from the inside, out. Fantastic and brilliant write. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your mind, heart, and soul.

And thank you for your service. xo :)

[ron]

Thank you and you are most welcome. I salute your brother for serving and his family.

[maria ( rose)]

I have to applaud you on your bravery and releasing one's feelings. You delivered your message well.
Your heart shows through very deeply. I love to see their face when I give them some chocolate.
I don't have chocolate to give but I can give you a smile: ) thank you very much for sharing Ron.♥
-maria

[ron]

Thank you Maria. Its the most wonderful thing to see when they taste the chocolate for the first time or it has been a long time since they did. To me that is one of the greatest gifts I could have, to see their faces as they light up.

[maria ( rose)]

that is wonderful, Bless your heart.

[Spacecadet]

This seems very heartfelt and genuine. I know how hard it is to pen down your feelings and admit them to yourself and the world. I love how straightforward the poem is and the message it sends is beautiful.
Good job Ron :)

[ron]

Thank you Spacecadet.

[Vidya Bacchus]

I don't know what to say besides that you are a very good man.It takes a lot to say what you have and own up to yourself.I never could.Excellent Red :)

[ron]

Thank you Vidya. I still have things I have to come to terms with about my self.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Don't we all lol.You are welcome :)

[Sheila Kline]

You my friend have the courage to admit who you are in a way that allows us to identify to that which dwells within each of us and as you speak of how you offset it with the compassion and kindness within it, you allow us to realize the wonderful capacity to love others we may also express. The world is filled with good and evil - the light and the dark. When one allows the dark side to be the dominant part of "self" then there is a problem of great magnitude and we lose the ability to share with others the goodness of humanity.

Your words are honest and reach inside me and grab tight of that which is the negative and encourages it to render itself null and void as love and human kindness rule!

A very profound write from one who is not afraid to reveal who he is! You write of many different topics but I always value most those which speak of your heart!!

[ron]

Thank you Sheila. I was a bit afraid to post this one. Your words are kind, thank you so very much.

[Nusquam Esse]

Seems to be more about the light side. Honestly, we all have the capacity to kill; some of us are not trained for it, some of us are not in situations where it is a part of life; but we all have that capacity. It really reminds us that even small acts of kindness matter; and hopefully we can understand and appreciate them without being in war-torn circumstances to know this.

[ron]

I agree. I think it is the humanity of who we are that makes us who we are, if that makes sense.

[Nusquam Esse]

It does. We have a primal level, and people often focus too much on that, while ignoring the higher consciousness which we all so often can exhibit as humans. We are no mere machines or animals; even if we do share things in common.

[Lyn Anderson]

This is very apparently heart felt and beautiful. It takes great courage to put yourself out there for something like this, particularly when people who are anti-war are also sometimes anti-soldier as well. Thank you for sharing, and for sending this read request.

[ron]

You are most welcome KL. I didn't know how else to say it. It troubles me to know what I know. But I know if I need to I can protect the ones I love and care about. I looked myself in the mirror and saw the face of someone who could do these things, but I know that I won't hurt anyone unless I have to. But knowing I can makes it hard to look in the mirror. If that makes sense.

[Lyn Anderson]

You said it very well, and it makes total sense.

[ron]

Thank you KL. Its hard to live with this...Maybe I should write something about it. It troubles me on so many levels.

[Lyn Anderson]

A story, maybe? It might be cathartic.

[ron]

Not sure what a cathartic is.

[Lyn Anderson]

Just means it will be a release, make you feel better:)