My dark side

My dark side

 

 

I have trained as an infantryman,

I learned how to kill effectively.

 

I learned how to carry out orders,

I was taught never leave a soldier behind.

 

Yes I can kill in the most efficient way.

 

But the most important thing I was taught,

was that life is sacred, to only kill if you have to.

 

It’s not something I am proud of,

learning how to kill.

 

I have traveled to other countries,

I have seen what the people have to offer.

 

I also learned that people can be the most beautiful things on earth.

They can show you love and compassion when you are in your darkest place.

 

So when people write of how they want someone dead, or hurting,

I feel it is because they hate themself the most.

 

I can hit a target a mile away,

I can squeeze off a round of the M60 and hit my target at 800 yards while my front sight post is bent.

 

But I can also give my rations to someone who is hungry.

I love to see their face when I give them some chocolate.

 

I can share a smoke with the elder of a village.

I would lay my life down so they will be safe.

 

It’s the hatred in the world the kills me inside.

what could we accomplish if we would only care inside.

 

This poem I write is the hardest thing I could ever admit to.

Author's Note

This is one of the hardest and most personnel things I have written.

Reviews

[NoelHC]

A very good piece, Ron, and I can relate to this well, as we have discussed elsewhere, my son has expressed many of these thoughts after serving two tours in Afghanistan. Is it OK if I send this to him?

[ron]

Thank you Noel. I would be honored to have him read it, but ashamed a fellow soldier would have seen a kind of weakness in me. There is much I did not put in this one, what I left out was that I never had the chance to find out if I could lie down my life for or another, or would I have run away.

[NoelHC]

I don't believe he sees being a concerned human as a weakness. I will send it on to him this evening.

[ron]

Thank you.

[Hatchling]

Awesome write Ron!! You're the bravest man everyone knows

[ron]

Thank you Fluttershy. No I'm not but thank you.

[Hatchling]

You're welcome.

[Karen]

You are the bravest man I know; not because you are a soldier or a killer or a lover, but because you are all those things and a poet!

[ron]

Aww that's sweet thank you.

[kublakhan27]

I've no doubt that was a heart-wrenching write, and it is a heart-wrenching read as well. It reminded me of a quote by Robert Frost: "No tears in the writer? No tears in the reader." This is honest, hard-hitting, and profoundly poetic. It's impossible to pause halfway through reading this...the grip factor is almost menacing, which is a very good thing in this case. Awesome work ron.

[ron]

Thank you kublakhan. I think this writing is a way for me to put something in some kind of order so I can make sense of (at least some) some of the things in my life. Don't get me wrong I lone being able to hit targets at long distances but it's the no-living targets I only want to hit.

[Megan]

I sometimes think about killing someone. Or what might make me want to kill someone.
I can't even kill bugs. Cannot even say the word hate without feeling deeply sad.
I sometimes wonder what killing someone does to another person. I mean mentally.

[ron]

That's a hard question to answer. I think it effects each of us differently.

[Ivory'lee]

So deep and beautiful, to tell of your life like this. I adore it Ron the most it is my favorite thing you've written.

[ron]

Thank you so much Ivory, your very kind...;)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This is truly deep Ron, I felt every line.
This shows just how much being in that war has impacted your life.
I could feel such strong emotions though every line.
Very moving, emotional, meaningful and insightful write.
Keep writing Ron :)

[ron]

Thank you cimmy, but I was never in a "War zone" Lets just say I was in other places that aren't "War zones". I will keep writing as long as it keeps flowing :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Oh lol looks like you were by you picture, and the way this was written, Cimmy got confused :P

[ron]

Its ok. I was in for over 20 years, I was never in a war zone but I have been to a few interesting places while I was in.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

oh yer :) :)

[ron]

Something like that, but not what you might think.

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

An intimate, reflective and personal recount of the life of a soldier. Thank you for sharing this, Ron.

[ron]

Thank you and you are very much welcome Sharon L.H. Kelly.

[icelandicblue]

Thank you for sharing your inner most thoughts and your angst. We are two sides of a coin and yours happens to have more than its share of flips but you know yourself and the good you can bring to those who need it. You suffer because your humanity is in tact

[ron]

Thank you. I just wish I was able to do more.

[icelandicblue]

This is what I have learned, sometimes we can only save the world one person at a time. I know it feels like a drop in the bucket but what if we all thought the same way?

[ron]

That would be nice if we all did.

[Frieda P]

Affecting read ron, I muchly like this reflective side of you, a tough one to write albeit but you bared your soul here, and that is always a poignant piece of work. Kudos for your courage and dedication and revealing both your light and dark side.

[ron]

Thank you Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Was my pleasure, one of my favorites from your pen ron.

[ron]

Thank you Frieda. That means a lot to mean thank you...xoxo