I cannot promise

I cannot promise

A Poem by ron

I cannot promise

 

 

I cannot promise I will have hands as strong as steel,

nor as gentle as the rise of sun light.

 

I will not promise never hurt your heart,

nor be the man you deserve.

 

I cannot promise much,

nor catch a comet’s tail for you.

 

I have little to offer,

except my heart,

 

I am not a great lover,

the one from your dreams.

 

I am a simple man,

with simple needs.

© 2014 ron


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Reviews

Beautiful and heart filled I love it a lot.


Posted 10 Years Ago


ron

10 Years Ago

Thank you Ivory. :)
Ivory'lee

10 Years Ago

Always welcome Ron :)
You sorta talked me out of this whole affair ron, Seriously, good read, I know where you were going with this one...but every woman needs a comet's tail.... ;-)

Posted 10 Years Ago


ron

10 Years Ago

Thank you Frieda...affair, what? No one told me...lol. I will work on the comet's tail...;-)
Frieda P

10 Years Ago

My pleasure ron, and yeah, you work on that will ya? ;-)
ron

10 Years Ago

Out of breath. Do you know how fast comet's fly? Hands you dust from a comet's tail...:)
What did you do to Nusquam lol.I think this is such a sweet statement of fact that a man is telling to the one he loves and because it comes from the heart it will always mean more.Really nice :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Vidya Bacchus

10 Years Ago

Huh ?I am welcome that you are welcome lol.Red that was nice of you :)
ron

10 Years Ago

Thank you Vidya
Vidya Bacchus

10 Years Ago

Thank you Red and you are welcome :P
Just noticed a few typos, and a few parts I might try to reword, but ultimately those are just suggestions. I would probably use 'yet' instead of nor, but it is just a personal opinion. However, you probably meant 'rays' instead of 'raise'. Another personal recommendation, would be to use 'to never' instead of ' not to ever'. Although comets is a possessive, so it should be 'comet's'. This reminds me of a buddy of mine from Belarus who always told me he was a Simple man, it always struck me as odd, because most American's are always trying to distinguish themselves from the rest. I had a lot of respect for him!


Posted 10 Years Ago


ron

10 Years Ago

Thank you Nusquam I will consider your suggestions.

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Added on March 6, 2014
Last Updated on March 7, 2014

Author

ron
ron

Imperial, CA



About
I have been writing on and off or more years than i care to remember. I started writing poetry, than i started a novel (still in the works), now I'm writing a six part short story erotic.. more..

Writing
Fangs. Fangs.

A Poem by ron



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