Give me your self and I...

Give me your self and I...

 

 

In the light of the moon give your self to me,

and I will give you my soul.

 

My pretty fair maiden travel with me through the garden.

Come to me, me marvelous house, come to me, me marvelous house.

 

Come in the light of the moon,

take me to the market and show the world of your love, your true love.

 

Take me, your dear solder boy who fights for your love.

None shall take from what you have bequeathed me.

 

Your heart in mine,

I shall never leave you lest I die a little each day.

 

Come to me my true love.

 

Shall we walk amongst the stars,

and the life spread before our feet, the path shall show its self.

 

She took my hand,

solder boy you will find love.

 

To the moon we did walk,

in its glory we did make love.

 

By all that is bright and full of love we did live.

We must, my dear lassie love in it’s shining glory.

 

Take me to your marvelous life,

to your marvelous love that holds no bounds.

 

When I look in the light,

the light of the moon, will you be able to love me so completely?

 

And the fire burns hot and cold,

let your love burn hot, your passion cools my lust for thee.

 

Let not your heart forsake my love.

Let the house we built last forever.

Let our love shine like a beckon for all to see,

let it be the flame that draws love into its bosom.

Reviews

[Blue]

"in it’s shining glory" - in its shining glory

And there are some other typo errors as well... Maybe they were intentional?

As for the poem, I imagine this best as a song. Must be the repetition, the organization of thoughts, etc.

[ron]

Thank you Blue. A song...how interesting, I never thought of myself as someone would could write songs... :) xo

[Blue]

Try it. You might be shocked yourself. Haha.

[ron]

I just might ...lol

[Arianna Dean]

I enjoyed this one its really good

[ron]

Thank you Arianna Dean.

[Latifa]

a heartfelt piece of writing dear, I enjoyed reading it.

[ron]

Thank you Latifa...:)

[Madalyn Beck]

Spectacular work!! I adored the last stanza, but overall you created a beautiful imagery with you words. Great write! :)

[ron]

Thank you Madalyn. You are very kind to say so.

[Vidya Bacchus]

I see KL an Nusquam had a you soldier boy lol.This is so passionate and filled with promises.Truly a knight in shining armour methinks,I am sure the maiden would do as you ask if asked so nicely true :)

[ron]

Thank you Vidya. One can only hope...:)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Yes I guess you're right.

[Ivory'lee]

I love this.... It's a lovely romantic verse.

[ron]

Thank you Ivory.

[Ivory'lee]

You're a very welcome.

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

This had a very Celtic feel to me when I read it. A lovely piece, Ron.

[ron]

Thank you. it is a Celtic piece.

[Lyn Anderson]

You have a lovely romantic verse here. But, ehem, me being me, a few minor details: One of your soldiers accidentally became solder, and it's is ITs without the apostrophe in this case. Thanks, I was a little hungry anyway.:)

[ron]

Thank you KL.

[ron]

Between you and Nusquam Esse, your driving me nuts. Could both of you figure what my typos are and the corrections and then let me know...please.

[Nusquam Esse]

Come to me marvelous house... this doesn't make much sense, I am assuming you used an incorrect word, perhaps you meant 'my'? And you misspelled soldier as solder on one occasion, And non is only used as a prefix, you need to use none. Next, your line "The path it shall show itself", you either need some form of punctuation to split up the sentence, or you need to remove 'it'. Your usage of it's is inconsistent, it's is 'it is', and your usage of it should be its. You also have a typo where you say "Let you love" but judging from the rest of the sentence, you meant 'your'. Also, you misspelled beacon as beckon.

[ron]

me marvelous house...It is old world speak. (As best as I can determine).

[ron]

I have changed the typos thank you.

[ron]

Between you and KL, your driving me nuts. Could both of you figure what my typos are and the corrections and then let me know...please.

[Laura Harrison]

what a beautiful and captivating piece. well written my friend

[ron]

Thank you so much adetailedflameofpurestj..Your review is most welcomed and respected. xoxoxo

[Laura Harrison]

you're welcome :)