No more pain

No more pain

 

Rain falling, windows crying.

The evening sun casts its last rays of light through the windows so dark.

 

The lights are off, feelings of not being home cast shadows in the dark.

Sitting in the corner where no one will see me.

 

This is where I should have been.

Safe where I won’t be seen.

 

Memories pass without notice.

Winter comes and covers me like a warm blanket.

 

Lakes are frozen thin.

I stand at its edge and make myself naked before it.

 

I step in, (it’s not so cold).

Waist deep I am free.

 

Nothing to worry about, nothing can hurt me now.

Slowly I sink and relish how peaceful life is.

 

Tears will no longer flow; my heart will no longer hurt.

This is how it should be because of the pain I have caused.

Reviews

[poetdoug]

I admire your creative ability to put these feelings down on paper. Most of us find it very difficult to express these inner feelings.
May your suffering bring you to a new dimension . Great write my friend.

[Me]

Very emotional, somber....feel the pain x

[ron]

Thank you. Its where I need to be, I am safe here.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

"Memories pass without notice." Hmmm. I sense depth somewhere in here. ;)

[ron]

I can remember the memories...but they don't matter any more.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Yes, thank you for this. I hope I can say the same thing here. :)

[ron]

Most things are just here, I can see them and remember them. If I start to feel good something always happens and pulls me back to the abyss.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

I feel exactly the same thing! ;)

[ron]

You do? Thank you for understanding.

[Clara]

Ron, this was a very heartfelt write. I liked how you related the cold, the vast and the empty to the numbness that you feel. Your heart is laden and burdened by perhaps, guilt and regret? They say that time heals all wounds but I've never been completely sure about that. Some things are just impossible to forget. I can really relate to how you feel -- though I hope you can find someone you can talk to because as difficult as that seems right now, don't hold all the pain inside... at least, try to let it go. There is no promise that it will ever feel okay, but I can say that it does get better.

[ron]

Thank you. I have felt like this for so long I'm not sure of anything any more.

[Clara]

I know -- nothing seems certain except the emptiness and it's strange how one welcomes the numbness as opposed to the pain. Take little steps. Thinking of you. :)

[ron]

Thank you...

[Chidoriflower]

This is incredible, the emotions are so profound. The peacefulness, the cold freedom. Excellent.

[ron]

Thank you.

[Chidoriflower]

You're very welcome. :)

[shallimarRose]

"Memories pass without notice.
Winter comes and covers me like a warm blanket."
Interesting how you speak of winter covering you with warmth and also that the lake is frozen over yet you step in and feel no pain.. It feels like you are wanting to seek refuge and comfort in the coldness of the world..? well that's what I got out of it anyway.. Powerful feelings admitted from this one.. Rose

[ron]

When you don't feel much anymore you don't feel the pain. It's comforting not to feel as much. Thank you for your kind words Rose.

[shallimarRose]

you're welcome

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
Oww ... This really plucks a brain-stem. I, too, have felt very similar to this. In my mania (which isn't quite so much anymores), I would contemplate freezing to death - to end the misery, to quit the coil of life.

And yet, as always, in the morning, things are always better than the day before. Memories of the past. That's what eat at the soul my friend. Memories of the past.

We often think nothing can be worse than the pain we have. And misery does have a way of numbing you to any physical pain, even worse elements to contribute to suicide. The self-destruction, the emotional storm, the breakdown of common reason.

Because our heart is breaking - and break it does and break it must, in order that we be stronger for it - the next day. Just make it to the next day. And all will be well ...

[ron]

I'm just tired of everything. one step forward and two steps back...most of the time, other times its one step forward and one step back. my heart is the same way...just tired.

[dw817]

Sometimes, Ron. In this dance of life, you can't just step forwards or backwards, make certain to remember to step to the side as well. It's notta dance unless you're really moving your feet.

Hope you regain your energy. Time heals all. The only problem is - it's often never our time to spend.

[ron]

Thank you.

[Plume de flamme]

Great piece here, Ron. I am thinking you are bemoaning the pain you have received but no, it is what you have done to others that tears at your soul. Well done, my friend.

[ron]

Thank you. A bit of both.

[Sami Khalil]

Beautiful imagery , lovely sentiments , splendid wordings...:)

[ron]

Thank you.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Laminators Dubai]

crying windows....awesomest!
i loved the hope with equal hopelessness...
thanks for sharing it....
glitchy

[ron]

Thank you for reading glitch.