I like you poem
I can see the humour
of the last line
It’s tongue in cheek humour I get it
I drank heavy after my separation from 2005 to a few years ago really
I admit I had an alcoholic problem
Probably would drink the excess alcohol too if I could but due to a heart problem incidentally which was brought on by the poison I am not to drink so ....
Yes I could say I’m an alcoholic that abstains due to health heart issues
Not sure if I would drink heavy again now even if I didn’t have a heart issue but I’ll never know as I’m sober now last two years or so I like it too I like my calming t bags and sure it’s not the same I still miss it the poison lol but do not miss the hospital admissions or problems with my ticker
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
Thanks so much, Julie, but be careful with the tea as caffeine has a reputation for bringing on irre.. read moreThanks so much, Julie, but be careful with the tea as caffeine has a reputation for bringing on irregular heart beats.
I'm so glad you've returned … we've missed your uniquely original compositions; this message-worthy piece being an exemplary sample; though, it doesn't seem to need a red warning label.
Such great brevity in absurd satire, only You could pull-off so smoothly, making it feel nonsensically normal … LOL!
I simply love it, My Fine Friend! ⁓ Richard 🍃
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A note that might interest you:
Gogyohka
(gō-gee-yōh-kă)
An original contemporary poetic form
created by Japanese poet, Enta Kusakabe, in 1961.
He translates it simply as, “Five-Line Poem."
The Gogyohka has very simple rules:
The poem is comprised of five lines with one phrase per line … that's it!
*****
What constitutes a phrase in Gogyohka?
The definition of phrase is in the eye of the beholder.
But, a compound or complex sentence is, probably, too long,
There are phrases as short as one word and others more than five words.
So, it's a little loose, which is kind of the theory behind Gogyohka.
It's meant to be concisely in five lines, but free, variable line length with each phrase.
No subject matter constraints … just five lines of poetic phrases.
Title (or not) and/or rhyme, capitalization, and punctuation: All at the writer’s option.
(examples)
it’s a pity
he sees joy
he’s so coy
he can’t get gritty
he’s a good boy
(or)
“Kindness”
What’s in a word?
Some things we need,
others can’t know
rivers run deep,
seas softly embrace.
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
Many thanks, Richard! So I almost wrote a Gogyohka; well, now I'm challenged again!
Short, sweet and says a lot. I have known several people with alcohol problems, and this offering says a lot about their psychology. They start out with the intent not to drink, but the resolve withers under stress and the human ability to rationalize draws them in. "I'll only have one" is the start of the slide. Liked the rhyming, too.
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
Thanks! I inserted a bit of humor here, but I know some people, like you do, for whom this is not fu.. read moreThanks! I inserted a bit of humor here, but I know some people, like you do, for whom this is not funny at all. I've had my share of accidents.
Ha ha. I enjoyed the humour in this little piece of brevity. I think many of us can remember a time when this would have related to us. I can. Never forgot over indulging on gin when I was in my early twenties. Never touched a drop since.
Chtis
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
Gin and tonic on a hot summer day! But yes, it can get away from us quickly if we're not careful. I'.. read moreGin and tonic on a hot summer day! But yes, it can get away from us quickly if we're not careful. I'm glad you saw the humor, and thanks for sharing the reality.
Love it. I'm gonna have to look into these her new darn fangled micro-majiggeries. To me, this was heard in the the voice of John Cooper Clark, the punk poet, perhaps because of the humour, as well as having recently been listening to his spoken word.
Well worth a listen to, he even makes haiku and senryu funny by just stopping dead after seventeen syllables, whether he got to the point or not.
You certainly did here. The amount of times I accidentally on purpose done the same thing is.. Is... Well, I can't quitterecall, but it definitely is 😀
Glad to review again. This is an interesting piece, and I think it revealed more than you expected. It offers a glimpse at drinking, which can be casual and merely social. It can be appreciative as in having a fine Pinot with a good steak--I know, a Cabernet would probably match better. Pinot is for prime rib or a roast. Or a nice sauvignon blanc with a fine fish dish--I know, many prefer chardonnay. I did too, some years ago. But anyone that is familiar with the pleasure of drinking knows what you are saying. We've been there. I've finished up the half bottle many times myself after a dinner party. And it could be 3/4 of a bottle. It's open and it doesn't keep indefinitely--okay, it keeps a few days. You didn't mean to drink it. It was just there, and it sort of happened. It sort of happened on purpose. Ah...you were going to bed, anyway. It helps clean up the kitchen. I can throw the bottle away now. I accidentally got drunk. Hell everyone is gone. I'm going to bed. I'm just going to drink this. Not all of it. Okay, that was half of it. Oh, what the hell, I'll drink the rest and go to bed. See you all in the morning.
You are most welcome. Have a glass of wine. It cuts down on your ambitions to go outside, and helps.. read moreYou are most welcome. Have a glass of wine. It cuts down on your ambitions to go outside, and helps you stay in and healthy. Hey, maybe you should have two glasses!
4 Years Ago
I always have a glass of wine in each hand so that I'm not tempted to touch my face.
4 Years Ago
Extremely wise. How did you get to be so intelligent??
Every type of school I went to was in a different country on a different continent: primary school in England, junior high in Ethiopia, high school in Lebanon, and university in the United States. I'v.. more..