In the Fullness of.....

This is my attempt at another poetic genre by Richard: the diminishing hexaverse.

The clock chimes again

(timeless universe).

Time is short and then

we suffer the curse:

running out of verse.

Seasoned with time,

it's on my plate:

fragile, sublime,

I know its fate.

What I know:

When I go,

Reaper? No.

Rather

Father

Time.

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Roland,
This is an excellent effort, My Friend, fraught with insight, wisdom, philosophy, and understanding … all, in spot-on counts, rhymes, smooth flow, and great word-choices.

It amazes me the potential talent on this site stuck in the same old forms and genre … a good poet should be able to write in any form; for, as in music, there is a perfect note and melody to express emotion and mood, thus, it is the same in poetry and its cornucopia of styles and forms.

Consider thinking about working on the punctuation and resisting beginning every line with an unnecessary capital … it becomes confusing at times, where one thought/line/meaning ends and another begins. In the sense that music needs notes, bars, repeats, clefs, sharps, flats, etc; to guide the musician, poetry and grammar needs proper punctuation and capitalization to suitably guide the reader through a writing's complications of nuances, timbre, moment, emotion, inferences, meanings, etc; and what is is the author's real intent is.

Brilliant done, Roland, and thank you again for the honorable mention … no more "Rascal" … now, it is simply ⁓ Richard

[Roland Petrov]

Thank you, Richard! I got rid of the Rascal and added punctuation.

[Richard🖌]

Thanks, guy! : )

[Richard🖌]

Looks super, Roland … way to go!

[Beano]

This is wonderful Roland. Sometimes the constraints of a particular form, result in marshalling and presenting an idea or a thought in it's best guise. And this is a great example.

[Blossom]

Hey, Roland, I just composed (and might post) something on time. Bravo, for attempting another genre (something I'l be daunted to attempt) and for creating a complete, yet tantalizing poem. The end kept teasing me (in a way good way, of course). I had to give my imagination a hitch there.

[Roland Petrov]

We are bound by time, and yet the universe is timeless. There is no grim reaper; we just give in to father time. Give this genre a try: 5 lines of 5 syllable followed by 4 lines of 4 syllables....you get the picture. Of course, you can start higher up the chain (Rascal started with 10 lines of 10 syllables), but I'm pleased enough that I managed the hexaverse.

[kealan]

There's a lot going on here in a small space, a great condensed idea that lost nothing during its conversion to a poem. Really enjoyed this.

[Nomenklatura]

I think this is your best stab at this (difficult) form. The first stanza is a little forced in places, although the syllable count is fine, for me it would be better if it was metrically sound. I know you may not even have attempted to match trochee for trochee, dactyl for dactyl. The content is excellent as always. The clock is running for us all.

[Roland Petrov]

Can you rewrite the first stanza for me? I'd be interested in your take. You are one of the writers on my "most respected" list.

[Nomenklatura]

I'd spend a lot longer on doing this, except I think you'd like to try it out yourself. The way I've scanned this might not work for you allowing for different stresses and intonantions of accent in any case.

Da-DUM DUM-da-DUM

The clock chimes again

Da-DUM DUM-da-DUM

(Time-lost universe)

DUM-da-DUM Da-DUM

Time is short and then

da-DUM-da da-DUM

We suffer the curse

Da-DUM-da da-DUM

out-run by our verse

Thanks for the compliment.

[Woody]

oooh genius!! never heard of this. running out of time? well done, Poet.

[Roland Petrov]

Shukran, Habibi! Check out the poem Your Sweet Rain by Rascal. He does this with ten verses! He also explains at the end what you have to do.