That Piece of Hallelujah

Lately, I've been writing micropoems, tweetable poems of 140 characters or less. This one is just a bit too long.

I wait until you've gone to bed

to sit outside and gaze into the stars

because I don't want to have to hear

about how your imaginary friend made them all;

that piece of hallelujah

shrinks the experience

and shrivels my soul

Reviews

[Ruben Wainui]

Love the message and the way it is delivered. And totally agree, you managed to sum up those points all so well in such great imagery and examples. An imaginary friend just like the easter bunny or tooth fairy. I also wrote something along the same theme-
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/rubenmita/1515447/

He fell to the floor and his head it was beating
To a pulse like a heartbeat his blood it was seething
And his eyes turned to face the big empty door
He would have looked further but he feared to see more

My good god he said as he thought of the words
To put into place the torrent of thoughts
Filling his eyes and his ears like a flash flood
But no voice from the skies came to grant what he sought

I'm waking up now said the voice in his skull
He trembled and feared to open his eyes
When he did he saw nothing but what lay before him
A world he could touch and a wide empty sky

[Roland Petrov]

Nice poem, Ruben! What a perfect last line!

[Samuel Dickens]

Very well put. No one wants to be preached to, even those of us who believe in a divine hand.

[Marie]

That's true. And he ways it in an original way.

[Rene Salinas]

Aren't I glad I ended up here. This reminded me of Christopher Hitchens sense of humour. Clever, witty, intricate and knowledgable not that I share his views but I certainly had all manner of respect for who he was. Similarly with the writing then what I find fluid about it is that encompasses many different aspects of human dynamics. Beliefs, relationships, wisdom, Christianity a bit of gnosticism and who knows really how many more things that I am unable to see.

Micropoem might be with mith collosal implications.

Thankyou

[Roland Petrov]

Thanks, Rene; you may have more than I have!

[MomzillaNC]

While I, myself, embrace Faith (but eschew dogma), I also understand the need to let others experience wonder as it speaks to them. I've never understood why some people feel the need to quantify experience for others by their own perception. If you ask me, it would be an incredibly boring world if we all saw thing with the exactly the same perceptions.

[Tree]

We all must find a way to absorb and explain the beauty around us. This was a fine poem, Roland. I understand how religion has tried too hard to simplify everything. I too find that at times unsatisfying.
Welcome, to the wc

[Roland Petrov]

Thanks, Diego! It's always nice to be welcomed.