Valentine!!

Because love is in the air.

Though i am always able to bedazzle you,
Still i cannot dare to ask that will you be my valentine????
However in my happy or sad moments,
Whenever you are on my mind,
I always realized you are already my heart's lifeline.
If you will to look inside me,
You will surely get that you are my soul's deadline.
To be very true and honest,
I dream to make you my heart's crown.
Surely the one and only lady,
I always wished to be in marriage gown.

Reviews

[Érenn]

This is a much better attempt than the one I previously read, but there are still a lot of issues. There are words missing, sounds less poetry and more prose. Don't go for forced rhymes they do not sound good.
eg: rather than writing: Still i cannot dare to ask that will you be my valentine???
you could have written: Still I don't have the courage to ask,
Will you be my Valentine?
cut down on the usage of unnecessary words.
and grammar has to improve.
Now for the good points : I can clearly see you love this girl a lot and you want her to be by your side.
The feelings are clearly being portrayed. The only solution to this is that you have to practice. And I hope you were able to ask her out in the end ^^