A White Summer Dress

This is actually a book i am working on, and the main character in the book writes this story.

I was sitting outside ‘pizza at the bay’. Hearing the rush of the ocean waves crashing against the artificial rocks. The expensive vehicles going at great speeds and their horns changing frequencies as they passed by. The evening sun was above the horizon at an angle such that it threw off glances at me as it’s light refracted off the windshield of the cars.

It was when I saw her. She was waiting for the bus. I always thought that the sea was the most beautiful thing I’d ever witness. But she was just as radiant as the refreshing sound of the waves.

Her eyes, Ducky. I fell in love with her eyes! The white of her eyes was as clear as the clear blue sea. And the brown retina would melt a dictator’s heart if they were to stare at her eyes through the thick rimmed glasses perched upon her nose.

She wore a white summer dress. The thin strap embracing her shoulders which was caressed by her brunette hair. She wore a pair of flip flops. She carried a ‘jhola’ with her which contained her precious DSLR.

She took photos of odd things. Everything but the sea. Which I feel she had been doing all day. I minded people coming here and taking shooting pictures of the sea. It often felt humiliating as if the beauty was being captured to be sold over the internet. If people really loved the sea, they should be seeing it with their eyes, feeling it with their skin and savoring the smell of it.
But the only pictures she took of the sea was because of a man sitting on the rocks silhouetted against the setting sun.

A woman accompanied by her son appeared near her. The kid looked adorable. I wouldn't have understood that had it not been for her eyes. She looked at the kid with an immaculate expression. She took a photo of the kid. Her mother did not mind. Instead she smiled at her, which was replied back by an even brighter grin.

She made faces. Weird expression whenever the kid fidgeted. The kid wouldn't keep still. Maybe he was surprised by such a colorful character taking his pictures. Or maybe she was adjusting her glasses.

She put the camera back inside her jhola and pulled out her cellphone. She smiled at the screen. Maybe it was a message from someone special. Her fingers worked across the screen perhaps in reply. She returned the phone back into the jhola.

She noticed the bus nearing. She got behind ‘the cute kid’. And waited to get in the bus. The bus stopped. It was at that very moment that she looked at me. The sight might have amused her as a reflection of observing an amused look on my face, staring at her thoughtlessly, because there was a hint of a smile on her face. She looked away as she got into the bus.

I have always been attracted to this place. I have loved the vastness of the sea, and of the sky above it. Now I come here for a reason besides that. In a hope to witness, again, that beautiful act directed by nature. A being so incongruous with the busy street. The vivid colors emerging from a white summer dress as if the mere air around it was prismatic. Ah, Ducky, I hope someday I’ll look at her and all my troubles will be gone. I hope to meet her again someday.

Reviews

[gabz]

Your detail is exquisite! I can almost see in my head how lovely the sight was. Your language and grammar are well advanced. The title doesn't do the story justice. It seems too vague for what you are describing. Otherwise, I would say that this was a very well written story.