Find me

I was alone in the woods,
and each step I took,
lead me farther and farther
in the wrong direction.

How did I get here?
So lost,
I'm not gonna be found.
I long to hear my name.

To hear it ring above the tree tops,
bounce off a mountains side.
Fill the streams with echoes.
Maybe even shock the country side.

But instead I'm lost.
No one's looking for me.
They forgot long ago
about the girl who lost her wings.

I used to fly so high!
Oh! Look at me fly!
But now I crawl the earth.
I'm nothing but dirt.

I don't get a second look.
Not ever on the streets.
So I take to hiding
behind my ever standing trees.

My mind grew this forest.
To protect me from the world.
But every so often someone else is there.
And they don't exist in reality.

They will take advantage of my hiding.
Take control of my body.
I am told stories about myself,
about things I would never do.

But yet no one listens.
I'm still lost.
Nobody has bothered to look.
No one has tried to hear.

All they see is my image,
reflected from broken glass.
More like a stain glass window,
that nobody wants to fix.

But yet these others.
Living inside my head.
They taunt me!
I swear they wish me dead!

I try to escape to the real world now.
They have taken over.
I don't have a sanctuary, no.
My mind is a purgatory.

And sadly,
The only place I call home.
The thing about purgatory,
is once you arrive, you never want to leave.

I didn't realize this.
Not until someone told me.
An oldman is as he appeared to me.
To others, well he didn't appear at all.

So now I'm stuck
taking refuge in this hell.
The others dash around the trees in frantic play.
Always, always, always, laughing to my dismay.

Sometimes in my sleep,
I can hear them call.
They whisper my name.
I scream stop! stop!

But oh silly me,
did I really think I could have stopped them.
They wanted me.
They wanted my body, my soul.

They wanted it for themselves.
They would poke and prod at my thoughts.
I was changed.
Always changing.

My thoughts were never clear.
Not anymore.
It was like a cluster of dark brambles
overgrew my brain.

It hurt.
For I wasn't just visited by them.
No, no, no.
I had been feeding them the whole time.

They grew strong.
Stronger then me.
They fed on my emotions.
All my anger and hatred and misery.

They were not just thoughts anymore.
They never really were.
They were other minds.
And the very woods I made up was their home.

It took sometime to get used to.
Having other people living in my head.
All with their personalities and abilities.
But now, I like it.

I have an army.
I have friends.
I have people to talk to.
I have people to look for me.

Now I can feel I can fly again.

But you can't leave.

But I have my wings again.

Stay.

But I thought you wanted this?

Stay. Stay forever.

I can't. I have to fly.

No.

Please. You have to look for me.

Look for you? Like a game?

Ya a game. I'll fly away, and you come find me.

Ok. A game.

Watch. I can fly.
And I can.
I flew over the tree tops.
I found a mountain cave.

Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?

I can their voices echo.
Oh the sweet sound of being looked for.
I can feel it lulling me to sleep.
Oh what it is to sleep forever.

I can feel myself at peace.
I'm hidden in a deep hole.
I can hear them look for me.
That's all I ever wanted.

I can hear reality too though.
They say in my eyes I look lost.
But I'm not lost.
I'm being found.

But how come they don't understand that?
Do they not hear them calling me?
But just maybe my reality,
wasn't reality at all.

They are taking a long time to find me.
I am trying to get up. To show them where I am.
I don't want to looked for anymore. I want to be found.
But I'm stuck.

The brambles,
they grew over me.
I'm trapped.
Now I will never be found.

I have started to scream.
Internally and externally too.
I always get pinned down. sedated.
I'm just trying to be found.

Why won't they let me be found.
Maybe I should just wait for my friends.
I'm getting too weak to scream anyways.
I just hope they come before...

I'm gone.

Reviews

[Devesh]

"My mind is a purgatory.
And sadly,
The only place I call home.
The thing about purgatory,
is once you arrive, you never want to leave."

These lines sent a tingling sensation down my spine. It is very difficult to keep the reader's attention on such a long piece and your poem did it effortlessly. You write with honesty and depth. Thank you for sharing. =)

[Mikayla Rasmussen]

thank you so much :)

[Devesh]

You're welcome! :)

[Domo]

I loved this piece. It reminds me of my personal battles that i once faught mentally. Thr whole fact of referencing its like purgatory and the voices live in the forrest you created yourself show how these are monsters, yet, just creatures that you have created on yourself to reflect your actions and beliefs. No one ever finds themselves on their own. Everyone needs guidance. But even without that guidance no one is ever truly gone.

Thank you for sharing this piece with us.

[Jordan's Back]

This is a remarkably just damned awesome piece, the symbolism of the sub conscience Portrayed her as both the "Enemy" and the "friend" The thing that makes your life, "Blissful" and yet "Hell" Then the internal struggle of mortality and Moving on to the next plane of existence beyond life, isn't just rudimentary in this piece, it describes its simplistic, yet complex foreshadows and draws the readers to examine their own inner struggles. This piece was more then just a poetic verse, it was the personification of philosophical thought. Enlightenment Mingled with beauty.

Excellent write!!!!!!!!

[Mikayla Rasmussen]

thanks babe XD

[Canicus]

Usually I can't stay interested in longer pieces, but this kept my attention. Very interesting write. I like how you added the dialog into it. Also There is emotion pouring out of this. You did a great job, keep it up.

[Mikayla Rasmussen]

thanks bud :)