Eighteen

A high school drop out enlists in the army.

Eighteen

 

 

    This world is what you make it. That’s what the liberals never understood. If the backwoods of Georgia taught me anything, it’s that nothing in life is free. My old man knew that. He slaved in a transmission factory and died with just enough money to bury him. Of course, I don’t know what’s worse, dying in a war or living in a factory. He probably could’ve got me in if cancer hadn’t got him first. I’m glad he didn’t. Assembly lines sound a lot like mental suicide. Bolt in. Crank. Inspect. Out. Bolt in. Crank. Inspect. Out…

      I hated small town life. Everyone knew everyone, and I was fairly low on the totem pole.  I would’ve left at seventeen. When I did leave, I never told anyone that I was doing it. I just did it. Maybe it’s selfish but I can’t say I’ll miss anything about this place.

     I came home after basic. Somethings never change. Like my Mother. She has never been the same since dad died. Six months later, she was still living in bed and smoking two packs a day. Or my Brother. Six months later, and he was still the most predictable person alive. Twice a day he took insulin shots, every semester he made honor roll, and every day you could count on him asking you seven zillion questions.

     He cornered me in the kitchen while I was making a sandwich. I avoided him since I got home. I knew he had questions, and I didn’t feel like answering any. He knew that. He was still going to ask them anyway. That’s why I shut the door to my room and never came out unless my brother was in school. This time he caught me with my pants down. I looked up when he entered the kitchen and I knew I was fucked.

      “How’s Mom been doing?” I said.

      “Well, I got her to leave the house and go to the post office yesterday.”

       “Besides that, it is what it is,”  he said.

       “Anyway, how are you holding up?” he asked

        “Not bad, finally making some money.”

        “I heard you got a free ride to college,” I said

       “Yea I got a full ride to Georgia Tech.”

       “Congratulations!,” I replied, “at least one of us will make it.”

    So far so good. I mean he hasn’t accused me of being misguided yet. Or worse. And no awkward questions! Please God, just be happy with the white elephant in the room. At this point, I actually believed the hard questions were going to remain unasked. Of course, I was wrong. As I said, the most predictable person alive.

      “Soooo, how’s the military?” he said.

God Damnit! I knew this was coming. The b*****d was just waiting for his moment. I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as I lowered my head, waiting to be berated like a child who got stopped for shoplifting.

      “It’s good,” I said, “I’m finally starting to make some money.”

    “Look, I know some people gave you s**t for dropping out of school and joining the army,” he said.

    I wasn’t aware of anybody caring what I did. But I let him continue. I knew he wasn’t going to let me off the hook that easy. So I didn’t try to change the subject.

     “I’m not going to do that, but I just have to ask,” he said, “Why did ya do it?!”

    “You couldn’t have stuck it out for six more months, and then tried to get something around here?”

    I pretended not to listen. I wasn’t sure what he meant by “around here.” The cement mill and the train depot were the closest thing around for someone with a high school diploma, and they were both closed.

     “I don’t know,” I said.

    “Don’t give me that s**t!” he replied, “I’m family, and I’m just trying to help you.”

     I didn’t owe him anything I thought to myself. Although he acts like I do. Still, I didn’t want an argument. After all, I was only back for two weeks.

    “Look, I just don’t know,” I said, “I guess I needed the money and never liked school.”

     “Well; what have you thought about?” he asked.

    I just remained silent. I knew anything  I said would have been used against me. In my defense, I assumed it was a rhetorical question.

     “Do you know how you are going to cope with killing people?” he said, “please tell me you thought of that?”

       I just remained silent because I wasn’t sure how to respond. What a Sissy! What do you mean how would I cope with it?  He must be a liberal. Only liberals talk this way.

      “Well, now you know why people give you s**t,” he said,  “because you make decisions without thinking them through,”

     “How can you join the army without even considering whether you can kill somebody?”

    I didn’t respond to his insult, mostly because I was tired of the pointed questions being thrown my way. I just shrugged it off and went to avoid the conversation by leaving the kitchen. Liberals, their all the same I thought to myself. My old man would roll in his grave right now if he heard his son talking this way. Finally, I stopped mid-escape and looked at him.

     “You do know they attacked us, right?” I said

     “Who is they?”

     “Terrorists, you dumb f**k.”

     “I can’t believe, you would even ask that question?”

     “If you wanna know how I’m going to kill them, I’m going to pull my right finger.”

      “God! Chill! Take it Easy! ” he said.

      I left the kitchen and headed down the hall to my bedroom. “I can’t believe he would speak to me like that,” I thought to myself. When I reached my room, I opened the door and slammed it shut. I took a deep breath and then plopped myself into my bed. “The old man had it right,” I thought to myself. “God! he would be stirring in his grave right about now.”  I then took another deep breath and slipped out of consciousness.

 

 

Author's Note

First story I wrote.