Face of Many Colors

Rewrite

In the recesses of her heart a storm is brewing
The cerulean sea churning ready to break free

In the recesses of her heart a storm is brewing
Rivers raging red from deep inside thee

She paints her face with many colors
Deep reds, blues, and greens
Depicting her words unspoken
A mixture of thoughts and unfulfilled dreams

Her colors are plenty and run together unending
She turns from here to there - no place to go
Not able to hide from her many colors
She must face the death dealing blow

In the recesses of her heart a storm was brewing
Her colors mixed together and faded to.........BLACK

Author's Note

This is a rewrite of my earlier version of this poem. I worked on the flow and the rhyme scheme. I also shorten the piece to make it more cohesive. Tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Just Kim]

Very awesome write, Full of imagery.
Much enjoyed

[Robin]

Thank you so much.

[Jasmine]

Robin i love this poem it really spoke to me with many colors or as we see them layers of personalities,i've met many people like that i really dont pay attention to.So this poem is like what i would describe them as layers of colors.One of the BEST poems ever!

[Robin]

Thank you so very much for your uplifting review.

[Jasmine]

your welcome ive been reading most of your poetry lately and i have to say you are a very talented write Robin.

[Robin]

Thank you that makes me feel very good. I am glad you like my writing.

[Azriel]

really loved this piece Robin, i liked how you used the colors as a metaphor. also really loved the images painted here, they're quite vivid and full of life, enjoyed the ending as well.

[Robin]

Thank you very much.

[Chloe]

I don't know how to describe this... I guess all my colors are mixing together! Ha! But a lovely poem deserves a lovely review, so I'll try to say more. First of all, the end

In the recesses of her heart a storm was brewing
Her colors mixed together and faded to.........BLACK

was my favorite part of the poem. It sort of ended the poem with a giant, blatant shout of "BLACK!". And second,

She paints her face with many colors
Deep reds, blues, and greens
Depicting her words unspoken
A mixture of thoughts and unfulfilled dreams

shows how she can't hide her feelings from everyone else. This kind of goes together with the end, maybe because she is trying to hide her sad, her happy, her crazy, her angry from everyone else, which caused her to kind of become angry at the world for pointing her feelings out to everyone. And her face became completely black. I don't know. This was a great read. Really creative!

[Robin]

Ahhhhhh yes you are dead on. Thank you so much for the review. Iam glad you liked it

[Rita L. Sev]

I like the repetition of the initial line. The line "Her colors are plenty and run together unending" feels a bit long there, interrupting the flow. Maybe something like "her plentiful hues run together, unending". I like how you depicted that she is unable to hide from herself.

[Robin]

Thank you very much.