Darkness

The dark side of depression.

The walls are closing in
Not caring if it all ends
My soul cries out to the walls
No one hears my distressing calls
Or maybe I don't want them to hear
It's my load, my burden, my care
Darkness
Darkness amidst the light of day
This intense feeling never goes away
My vision is blurred
My thoughts undeterred
From the constant visions in my head
Will anyone care if I'm dead?
Darkness

Reviews

[Azriel]

robin, this is such a powerful piece, so much emotions are in this one, and they're expressed really well. also i loved the form and rhyme scheme in this one, it really does create a great flow and an almost "nursery rhyme like" pattern, in spite of the very dark message/ content of the piece...

[Robin]

Thank you all for your comments, they are much appreciated.

[Trigorin]

Not bad. A little generic maybe but the recurring theme of darkness keeps things at least a little new and fresh, so good work there. I think you could have expanded on this a little more, but I personally like to have a reasonable conclusion to things - whether you do or not is up to you. Well done.

[Jupiter]

This is beautiful, perfect, and relatable. I suffer from depression too and you put it in such simplistic elegance. I can feel the darkness. Great job!

[Rita L. Sev]

Wow - dark, hopeless, despair. You express these so deeply, a reason to keep writing, to get the darkness out. Not sure if you are writing your own truth, but if so - keep writing and accept this: *hug*. An emotional, well penned piece.

[Robin]

Thank you for the hug but this is not about me. I am actually in a really good place. I just know that many are and just wanted to write about it. I'm glad you liked it.

[Rita L. Sev]

Good to know! Makes this an even more impressive piece!

[Brielle Cartny]

This is so sad yet so true!! I feel this way and i often fear that when i die i will just be another gravestone.

[Poetic-pRiNcEsS]

Simply but nice....the imagery is exciting..nd u played with my emotions for at one point i truely wanted to reach out to you and pull u out of the darkness