ENDING

Ending of the light...

Sunlight bars

Turn into rust

Moonlight spray

Drifts into sand

Nature has

Abandoned now

To loneliness

This darkened land.

Reviews

[Parsimony]

Very descriptive. It seems like the first half of the poem is a contrast to the last half.

[Diane]

Oh Nice. Not 100% sure what it is about but I like your word usage.

[Moonie]

This reminded me of "The Waste land" by T.S.Eliot. Even good literature cannot make us part with our ignorance until our minds have truly opened. They would remain unsunkissed(allow me to introduce a new word to you) like the darkened and lonely lands you have mentioned.

[Marie]

THank you. I have not read all "The Waste Land," but part of it. I had no thought of this in mind when I wrote "Ending."

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

My wife and I both had the same take on this; referencing the abysmal legacy mankind has cast upon paradise. You are, as I knew you would be, a deep thinker with mastery over words. When writing in minimalistic style, multiple perceptions may be derived from between the words, and the unsaid becomes more powerful than those written. We weave the words with spaces in places where readers insert what they need.

[Marie]

Thanks--but I'm not really a deep thinker. I started with the phrase about "sunlight bars...turning into rust" and worked from there.

[andrew mitchell]

The closing of a day to the dark of night A nice write Marie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

like Juliet said "we shall say goodnight till it be morrow" ....that light will come again, and the loneliness will subside...

you write nature so perfectly.

[Marie]

I was meaning it sort of an "end times" thing. You took a more optomistic view.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that's a switch....me being the more optimistic one out of the two of us...you usually are much more so than i....:)

[Jane Taylor Hardy]

Exceptional poetry! Bravo! I loved this!

[An owl on the moon]

The metamorphosis of day into night breathes out so tenderly and darkly through your words... what a beautiful loneliness.

[Marie]

I did not see the beauty in it till I saw your review.

[Will Neill]

Expertly written Marie, and a pleasure to read.
Will

[Marie]

Thank you.