JANUARY

Poem for the new year...

January skies are bright

With the light of new year’s dawn;

Mists of gloom melt with the sun;

Clouds that held the past are gone.

 

Crystal pure, unsullied yet,

This brief brightness waits to see

If this fresh start finds the world

Living life as it should be.

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Marie,
For sharing such a very promising commentary on the present, the past, and the impending possibilities on that which is to come.
I particularly enjoyed your Quatrains presented in a seven-count even flow, the excellent word choices, and their thoughtful arrangement.

My warmest hug of grateful thanks, Marie! ⁓ Richard

[Marie]

Thanks; I'm glad you liked it.

[Richard🖌]

You're most welcome, Marie.
I really enjoyed this one. : )

[Frank]

Suggestion - 1st stanza only, no punctuation

A new bright January sky
The light of new year’s dawn
Mist from the hills melts with the sun
Clouds that held the past are gone [this must means something, I don't see the past in the clouds though]

Crystal pure, unsullied yet, [You like crystal]
This brief brightness waits to see [yes, there is a transientnes about the dawn and especially mists rising up in the warmth of the sun]

If this fresh start finds the world [I find the last 2 lines vague, too vague and disrupt the flow]
Living life as it should be.

[Marie]

The last two lines aren't good, because I should not have used "life" and "living" in the same line.

I really appreciate your comments.

[Frank]

Thanks, you accept criticism and are open to reasonable discussion on your work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

hopefully we will find a way to live life as it should be, but in the meantime...the beautiful clear skies are accompanied by very crisp, frigid temperatures...reminding what cold hearts and lack of love for others can produce.

nicely done, Marie.

[Marie]

Thanks. When I wrote this Hanuary skies were indeed bright. Now the skies are gray and the temerature is frigid.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

here too, Marie...
tonight 4 degrees...not much wind though..earlier today it was 12 but the wind chill was really strong and we were below zero in that matter...
I lived near chicago for 10 years, and the cold up there with lake winds, really different...and what they consider cold here, i usually smile at...but today with that wind...it did feel cold...but this saturday it will be a balmy 22 and we will play doubles....our foursome is ready..ha ha...balls don't bounce as well though and the strings get a little stiff.

[Bare Trees]

Excellent poem Marie. Your choice of words completes the picture in the mind.

[Baby Ricochet]

January in Florida's lovely

[Marie]

January in Texas not so much.

[AK]

I thoroughly enjoyed this poem! I love the comparison of nature's appearance to the state of our mind's as we enter the new year- starting afresh with renewed energy.
"Mists of gloom melt with the sun"- the imagery evoked by this line is commendable.
A perfect read as one enters 2015. Loved it!

[Marie]

THanks; I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Woody]

the hope radiating from this poem is palpable. your poems are all filled with optimism and positive vibes.
Keep shining on WC, Marie.

[Marie]

Thank you. Maybe not all of yhem.

[Jimmy Yetts]

January skies are no brighter than this piece, Marie--which creates the world-renewing atmosphere of freshly fallen snow.
Work most pleasing!

[Marie]

Thank you. I wrote this looking at a very bright January sky. It is ot always so.

[ANTO]

A cautious welcome to January - a wary welcome but filled with lovely gems Marie
immaculate - I dont know why 'immaculate' but thats what came to mind
:)

[Marie]

Perhaps you're thinkng of the Virgen Mary...?

[ANTO]

Could well be - the Epiphany is tomorrow ... yes thats probably it Marie :)