Women and Football...How I love Thee!!

Women & Football!!!!

Both are synonymous with “Oh Hell Ya!”  If you look up “Awesome” in a thesaurus, the glorious duo will be before you.  I don’t even know where to begin.  My head is swimming with what to say first!

I shall start with Football, as to keep my female audience intrigued to keep reading....waiting for the part about “them”.  Settle down now; I mean no disrespect....but you know it’s true. How am I to keep you reading about football otherwise?

These two are equally amazing, yet frustrating at the same time.  Just when you think you’re one away from greatness...something happens.  After this years display of gridiron madness, cougar hunting and a few too many brown pops, I feel used, depleted and am completely comfortable with it.

Nothing gets me going more than football Saturday and Sunday.  Football excellence at its finest!  Watching College football on Saturday’s is as exhilarating as it is frustrating.  Teams that play for school colors and pride is a trait that is lacking in Pro ball.  This is why it mesmerizes me so.  Leave it all out on the field...let the chips fall as they may without the pressures of money and status.....much like a new relationship...it’s all about now and achieving what we all yearn for.  To be great and acclaim adoration for what it is.  As a relationship goes, so does the football spirit.  At some point it stops being about the game as much as it becomes about the end result.....and that my friends is why we’re left with disdain in our mouths, and ultimately fail.

The “chase” is what drives us.  Why do you run?  Is it because you love exhausting yourself? Having your heart feel like it’s about to burst? NO....you do it because you want to be at the finish line.....a winner.  When a football team spends all week practicing and preparing for this week’s game, it’s with one goal in mind.....let’s play this game, one play at a time.  When you walk onto the field thinking about the 4^th quarter, you have already lost.

We do the same thing with that beautiful specimen that is called, woman.  From the time we are wee lads, it’s all we can think about....”I must have as many of them as I can”.  And through many, chest puffing sessions and flirty winks with our bathroom mirrors, we set off on our journey to conquer you.  It’s what drives us.  What’s my next move that she won’t be able to defend against?  We strategically map out each move, longing to break that barrier of third and long. Every once in a while, our third down conversion is successful.  Then what do we do? We stop playing.  We just won...let’s move on to the next game.

Now I urge you ladies to cut us some slack, since we are simple creatures and have no real ill will towards you or our relationships with you.  We are arrogant and cocky.  We aggressively boast of our own accomplishments.  We long for the chase.  The game.  To conquer.  And we all know that you, as females, love being chased!  You are the prize. The trophy.  Flipping your hair in my direction is a challenge.  I accept that challenge. 

Here’s an idea....keep in interesting...make us keep chasing.  Don’t give us the whole basket and your little dog too.....for if we aren’t chasing than we aren’t living.  Just make us chase you forever so we don’t chase someone else.

Every year, in college football, there’s a crystal football that everyone covets.  The ultimate goal.  Something you have trained your entire life for.  Through perseverance and dedication, as well as some great luck, it is indeed attainable.  At the end of the season, you raise that crystal god as a champion.  Is the game over?  Not at all.  Next year is a new year, and you have to try and win it again.  And it’s a lot harder to win it again than it was the first time.  New dynamics, obstacles, circumstances all play into the new path towards the ultimate goal.  We must adapt our game to overcome these obstacles if we are to reclaim the trophy........Pretending you actually like football is an effective tactic as well....not to mention how hot you look wearing our jerseys.  Keep it up.  Good on ya.  Well done.

No, Football and women go hand in hand....how we love you both.  Both games are played exactly the same way if success is to be achieved.  Never think of the end result.  Work at it one play at a time.  Just like the 4 seasons of time, there are 4 quarters of football.  You have to play every quarter.  And when you’re done each quarter, succeeding with your play, you’ll get your prize.  But don’t relish it for long, for you have to do it all over again!