i shouldin't

I can't.

I must.

I can't.

I must.

Damn these impulse control problems.

Before I know it, I'm leaning down, wetting my lips with my tongue, and pressing them against Tyson's. I didn't expect a reaction. I didn't expect him to match my pressure, to feel the firm line of his teeth press into my mouth. Nor the insistence of his tongue as it moved from his mouth to mine.

The fire in my belly raged. I had to pull away. Had to get away before he knew.

Finally sense returned, and I jerked away, leaving his tongue hanging in midair. Now, I didn't care if I woke him up. I ran, out the door, slamming it shut behind me, up the stairs and into the bathroom where I locked the door.  I let myself collapse, let the tears come.

"Jo?" I heard Tyson say from down below. His voice was still thick with sleep. Let him think it was Jo, I thought choking down a sob. Just let him think it was Jo. He never has to know.

I look out the small circular window at the morning light coming in, and I wished the day was over.

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems please