Stars

This is the poem I submitted to PoeticPower a few weeks back.

The stars are a simple thing,

Something we have all come to know,

Another part of life we ignore,

But somehow we always show,

Some interest of them being there,

Simple, yet elegant,

A guardian in the air,

Someone said that stars revolve around us,

But we were vain back then,

We revolve around the stars,

Over and over again,

So why do we think that we are so important?

Maybe it is some silly thing humans have,

Where we need to feel special,

But it can tear the world in half,

No one saw the bloodshed coming,

But everyone watched it,

Even the stars in the heavens,

Forced to see it all.

Author's Note

This is my first real competition poem, be nice please. And now this poem is published in "A Celebration of Poets."

Reviews

[Archia]

That was wonderful. I loved the different aspects of human life and stars that are brought up.
"No one saw the bloodshed coming,
But everyone watched it,
Even the stars in the heavens,
Forced to see it all"
That is just so sad an idea, but something thoughtful too. Stars see all our pain. I loved that idea.
This whole poem brought up some thoughtful ideas, and it personified stars somewhat; they aren't just little dots in the sky anymore. Great poem.

[Robby DeLuca]

I really think that the funny thing about this poem is how differently it can be interpreted. Yes, the last line was about how humans are vain and stupid, and how we revere greed, but the real meaning of this poem is actually about how we only notice the important things that we take for granted when it is convenient, similarly to stars. Also, with the analysis of the last stanza, we could also interpret it as innocents that soldiers are trying to protect. An important thing that they don't notice, but they see everything and feel the impact. That was sort of the real meaning of this poem. Thought I would share, simply because I've had it up for a long time, and nobody managed to analyze it enough to notice the allegorical aspect of this particular piece.

[Red Brick Keshner]

I loved that you drew attention to the fact they are they but they are not, mostly unseen except for those rare moments, when all of a sudden they transform into some important stuff of life. But more than that toward the end when it was even more vital to know that the stars witness every aspect of human intercourse, be it benign or fraught with blood. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Alicia Beavis]

You raise some very good points. I really enjoyed reading the eighth and ninth lines because they speak so much truth. You have an interesting way of viewing things and it really showed in this piece. The ending just tied everything together so well!

Very nicely written and a pleasure to read.

[zainul]

I love the following lines:
"So why do we think that we are so important?

Maybe it is some silly thing humans have,

Where we need to feel special,

But it can tear the world in half,

No one saw the bloodshed coming."
You have given a very wise verdict against the power greedy persons who always endanger the lives of common peoples.
I congratulate you for the great poem.
Let's celebrate your achievement.

[Ray]

Thumbs up !

[Kris]

Excellent. I love the way you wrote this, it is very smooth. Good job on looking things from a perspective and use of imagery. Keep up the good work.

[Kristopher d. Taylor]

I like it, especially the last two lines, great way to end the poem. And the thing flowed, which is almost always good. good job, bro.

[Kelsy]

Creative and vivid.You rock!

[Kelsy]

Creative and vivid.You rock!