That Which Should Have Been

I went to the cemetery
to visit my granddaughter's grave today.
As I stood there looking around
at the other little graves that surrounded hers,
I felt such profound sadness.

On some of the graves there were flowers
on one was a pack of Skittes.
But what caught my attention the most
was the one where a little boy lay,
that had a Lightening McQueen car
parked on the grave marker.
Another where a teddy bear
kept watch over a baby girl.
One had a pinwheel that was turning
as the wind moved against it,
and another that had several angels
arranged lovingly around,
keeping guard.

And this is what I thought;
how heartbreaking it is
that parents have to bring gifts to their children here,
to this place.
How poignant to see how these broken hearts
are taking such loving care of their babies,
in the only way they knew how.

Some of these precious ones
having never taken a breath outside of the womb
and others who were with their mommy and daddy
for just a brief time.
I couldn't help but feel grief,
not for the babies,
but for the parents
who lost that which should have been,
who will never see the smiles,
hear the laughter,
or calm the fears of the children
that they can only hold in their hearts.

It has often been said
that a parent should never have to bury their child,
and I couldn't agree more.

Gabriella Faith,
as I watch your sister grow,
and bring gifts to your place,
I will think of you often
and that which should have been.

Love,
Grandma

Reviews

[quinfinn]

no one should outlive their children, ever! when children are called to rest it is too heartbreaking to encompass the grief in one's mind and heart. and it is so, so wrong. don't get me started on how angry it makes me at life.....this is a resonant and poignant write, nicely done.

[R. L. Ives]

I completely understand the anger. Though I have never personally lost a child, I have lost a grandbaby and am now watching my son and daughter-in-law live through it. I would gladly take this pain if it were possible but all I can do is be there for them. Gabriella was a twin, and her sister is whole, healthy and just a blessing to us all.

Thank you for you're review and kind words Quin.

[quinfinn]

always a pleasure, indeed

[Sheila Kline]

The precious memory of Gabriella Faith shall always live in your heart, and in that of all those who mourn her loss! There is no way to explain, nor understand the loss of a little one as this, nor of those you speak of who have a stuffed animal, or angel, or pinwheel lovingly placed at their grave. If we are able to forever cherish the memory of one who is gone in whatever way we are able, then they are never forgotten. Often, we may do an act of kindness in memory of a loved one - to one less fortunate, or hurting, or another parent grieving who is still so very raw with pain, to feel the touch of a hand, or a gentle word of understanding. One is so vulnerable, and ripped apart when a child is lost!!! May the surviving sibling bear witness to the great love that lives on in her. She shall be somewhat like a mirror of her sister. May this mirror shine forth with a bright light of love!!!

It is hard to share thoughts as this.........thank you for doing so!!!
Perhaps it may bring comfort to another grieving soul!!

May you be comforted dear Grandma!!!

[R. L. Ives]

Sheila, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words. Gabriella will most definitely be remembered and Julianna will be part of that memory, as well as give comfort and healing. Again, thank you.