Sharper Than a Rose

symbolism is the tool of higher thinking

all around me people thrash and cry

yet strangely for one of mine eyes

       catches a rose

a bush to fill the chasm

       knows no remorse

I reach and pluck a silly rose

       as if upon a horse

When Death comes near, ever

       moving forward

I clutch my rose with both hands

       now have I a sword

Death comes straight and true,

       my sword, it pricks me

He smites me with one blow,

       rose petals fall, three.

Reviews

[TJ]

I liked this one! I enjoyed the end where the rose that's being used as a sword pricks the person using it. Sometimes it's our own weapons that hurt us the most

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Beauty has so many thorns, good poem.

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

(After you asked for harsher reviews).

This reads very oddly to me - yet strangely for one of mine eyes
It feels as though you're trying to go into old ways of speaking, Shakespearean almost? One of my eyes would read better.
The opening line feels almost seperate to the rest of it. The rest isn't too bad. Perhaps switch around the upon a horse so it reads on the same line as Death?
Then, maybe put the three on the final line by itself rather than using a comma? Just to add that impact and push the point a little more.
These are just suggestions it certainly looks like a good base there I'd just personally switch a couple of words around I think. Hope that helps.

[Amanda_Rose]

a rose as a sword? brilliant irony. nice.

[.]

I clutch my rose with both hands
now have I a sword

Hey this is really good, A most amazing write. I adore these lines here. This is amazing.