The Perpetual Virginity Of The Blessed Mother Mary

The perpetual virginity of the Blessed Mother Mary is demonstrated at the cross of our Lord.

Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home (Jn. 19:25-27).
~ As John Tells It
The New Peace Treaty: A New Translation of the New Testament

Women were essentially property in the ancient world �" she only had identity and security from the man who cared for her. She was somebody’s daughter until she became somebody’s wife; and since she would most likely outlive her husband, she would hopefully be somebody’s (a son’s) mother. A woman who had daughters risked having no security if her husband and father died. So if Mary had other sons, one of the other sons would have to take care of her; yet, Jesus on the cross places her in the care of the Beloved Disciple, implying that there were no other sons to take care of Mary.

Yet, the Bible refers to Jesus having “brothers.” Very early in the Christian tradition, either in the 1st or early 2nd century, a story emerged which said that Joseph was a widower. Therefore, Joseph would have been an older man who already had sons from a previous marriage. This allows for Mary to remain a virgin before, during, and after her marriage to Joseph, as well as before, during, and after the birth of Jesus. So the “brothers” of Jesus would have been what we today would call “half-brothers” �" at least in popular thought among the people of Nazareth since many at the time would have assumed that Joseph was the father of Jesus through Mary and his other children through his deceased wife. In actuality he would have been their step-brother since Joseph was not really the father of Jesus.

The was idea was the understanding that was taught by the early Church fathers until the time of St. Jerome (c. 347 �"  420). Without denying the possibility of what had become generally held Christian tradition, he also posed the possibility that since there was no Hebrew word for “cousin,” and since cousins were often referred to as “brothers,” then the brothers of Jesus in Scripture may in fact be his cousins.

So back to Jesus on the cross. He is dying and Joseph is presumably dead because he is never mentioned after the birth narratives �" this is even more likely if Joseph was a much older man when betrothed to Mary. Mary had no other sons of her own, her husband was dead, and her father would presumably also be dead. Therefore, Mary had no one to provide for her. The dying Jesus makes sure His mother will not be without security and care, which he would not have to do if he had brothers because the obligation would be passed to the next eldest surviving son. Jesus giving His mother to the Beloved Disciple , and redefining their relationship as “Mother” and “son” makes sense if Jesus were Mary’s only son.

The only other alternative is that if this scene is not literal, then it is metaphor, and Mary becomes the metaphor for the Church or Jewish Christianity and the Beloved Disciple is metaphor for Apostles? Disciples? Seekers? Gentiles? The problem, however, is that if this scene is metaphor, then how much of the rest of the scene is metaphor, and then it become easy to assert that there was no crucifixion because that is a necessary part of the metaphor, as would be the subsequent resurrection of Jesus from the dead. If the death of Jesus on the cross is metaphor, then there is no resurrection from the dead and the whole thing is meaningless. (It is certain that some may find meaning in this metaphor, but metaphors cannot save, and they cannot atone for sin, so we are just as dead and doomed as ever and Jesus accomplished nothing.) If we want to take the death and resurrection of Jesus literally, then we have to take the scene of Jesus placing His mother into the care of this disciple literally, or else the whole tapestry of the faith unravels.

If the scene is taken literally, then it only makes sense if Jesus is Mary’s only son; and although this does not prove Mary’s perpetual virginity, it certainly points to it. When the early-Church fathers (many of whom may have known Mary, and certainly knew the people who knew her) are taken into consideration, the evidence for Mary’s perpetual virginity begins to pile up.
Incidentally, early Reformers including Martin Luther and John Calvin both believed and taught Mary’s perpetual virginity. The belief that Mary was a virgin for the birth of Jesus, but then had other sons and daughters in the normal, biological way slowly crept into Protestant circles generations after the Reformation began. Calvin, it must be remembered, was the second generation of the Reformation. Therefore, the general Protestant belief of Mary being a natural mother for Jesus’ brothers would not have become a dominant idea until the very late 17th century at the earliest.

Most Protestants are now unaware that even Reformers once believed in Mary’s perpetual virginity. For fifteen hundred years the entire church accepted and taught that the Blessed Mother Mary remained a virgin, even after the birth of Jesus. For the next century or so, a small group of Protestants began to deny Mary’s perpetual virginity. For the last two hundred years or so, most Protestants have forgotten that Mary’s perpetual virginity was once a part of their own doctrine and tradition, just as it remains a part of Catholic doctrine and tradition.

Today, the notion of perpetual virginity, even for the Blessed Mother, seems offensive and sad. One Protestant colleague expressed sorrow at the though of Mary remaining a virgin for life and hoped that she would have experienced the joys of sex, as if the joys of sex were the most important of human experiences. It may simply be that the idea of Mary’s perpetual virginity is a product of a time when people thought that sex or anything physical or carnal was “dirty.” There is, unfortunately, a tradition of repression that coincides with Christianity �" Protestant and Catholic. Yet, contemporary people are very familiar with sex through television, movies, music, and advertising. The contemporary familiarity with sex does not appear to have washed it clean. So it is unfair to tradition and to the Church to just dismiss the idea as a product of a time that hated sex.

In the big picture of the Gospel, the perpetual virginity of Mary is not that important. It is by no means a deal-breaker. Christianity stands just fine whether it is standing on the tradition that Mary remained a virgin for life, or that she was a virgin for the birth of Jesus, but lived as a normal wife afterward, producing others sons and daughters. Either way the foundation for the faith is Jesus Christ. Knowing the other views helps take into account a larger understanding of the faith and helps to understand our fellow-Christians from other traditions. In the end, it does not appear to be an essential matter of faith; therefore, the Church, and the people in it, can demonstrate charity of belief on the matter, focusing instead on that point on which most Protestants and Catholics still affirm and agree �" that Mary was a virgin when Jesus was born.