Who Is God To Me A Year Later?

From My Journal
January 1, 2013

Who is God to me?
   
God is lover. God is divine and perfect love"a love that is active. Part of me is uncomfortable expressing God in terms of “lover”"God has always been “Father” and “Master” and “Lord” and some symbol and expression of authority. But today the exercise asked “Who is God to me?” and God is “Lover.”
   
Maybe the reason for my discomfort with the term, even though I claim it as who God is, is because the term “lover” often means a sexual relationship or an extramarital affair, and since I have grown up with masculine imagery for God, lover implies a homosexual relationship which, even if I personally have no problem with homosexuals, I am not one, so maybe I’m afraid of people misunderstanding what I mean by the term “lover.” I guess, in my mind, whether it is the general connotation or not, the word “lover” either means “gay” or “sordid”
   
God is lover because God is one who loves"love is who God is. Love is not something God does; love is the very being of who and what God is. It’s like love is an element, like hydrogen, or oxygen, and God is made of that element. God cannot be reduced to any smaller atomic substance. God is love; therefore, God is lover.
   
Lovers are embraced, whereas rulers are authoritarian or tyrants. Lovers are longed for, whereas Fathers are punishing. A lover is close and intimate, whereas a Lord is distant and cold. Lovers are partners, whereas God as Father, King, Ruler, Lord, whatever, is a boss or authority figure, and bosses are jerks and authority is something to be rebelled against. So God as lover fosters a sense of closeness, intimacy, a bond, a connection. God as lover is something to be embraced, not something to be feared.
   
A Lover also overlooks the faults of the one who is loved. When I am in love with someone, I don’t notice their faults, I am too busy being in love. And when I do notice them, I find a way to tolerate them or ignore them. God is too busy being in love with me to notice my faults and to hold my faults against me.
   
Who am I to God?
   
I am the pearl of great price"the pearl that God sells everything he has to buy. I am the treasure hidden in the field"God sells everything to buy the field to have me as his treasure. I am the lost coin that God searches for, and when he finds me, he throws a party and invites everyone to celebrate with him. I am the lost sheep, not that I have strayed or have been bad, but in a way that expresses when God realizes I am missing, he ignores the other sheep, just to go and find me. That’s who I am to God.
   
God loves me in such a way, it’s as if there is no one else to love except for me. God loves me more than I could ever possibly love myself. God loves me as if there is nothing more precious or important in the entire universe than me. And that’s how God loves us all. God will hold nothing back to love me, not even his own Son. That’s who I am to God.
   
Who is God to me? Lover.
   
Who am I to God? Lover.
   
What is life? A romance.